How hard it is to maintain adult relationships


Here's a comment from this interview I watched recently that got me thinking:

I work with 20-50 year old men in chronic pain. There is a massive difference in mindset between the older and younger men. I find that many of the 20-35 year olds have a lot of their issues stemming from loneliness and lack of status. They retreat into their mind or numb themselves with video games, social media, etc and their unhappiness / inability to improve themselves manifests in pain. Think, pain makes you not want to move and stay away from whatever is threatening your body. Id be curious to see if there's any correlation between pain symptoms and some of the data suggested here. Just some random thoughts I had during this great interview.

I've thought about this myself since having kids: how hard it is to maintain adult relationships.... and how much harder it is to start new ones.

I've reverted to traveling to see old friends from childhood as of late. However, that poses its own set of challenges. You show up to someone's city, and they have their work, routine, family, etc, and you're there with nothing else to do or anyone else to see, but it's not like you can just say. "Hey, pay attention to me for a few days."

So you end up grabbing dinner and hanging out at their place for a few hours before returning to your hotel and wondering if the trip and expense were worth it.

I think my desire to build a 100-acre community is to force others (and myself) to stay in one area for long periods of time. Just like when we were kids and our friends lived near us... we couldn't drive, so we ended up spending a lot of time together.

In any major city, a million things are vying for our attention. You see this with any typical get-together: how everyone tends to "head out" the second after one person announces, "I'm heading out." Lol.

It reminds me of an anecdote about Stalin's speeches: standing ovations would sometimes last 30 minutes because the secret police were watching for the first to sit down, sending those who made that fatal mistake straight to the gulag.

Can you imagine? After 10 minutes of mindless clapping, you sit down, and someone comes up to you and says, "Your life is over."

Anyway, I digress.

One thing is for sure: if you have even one true friend who will take time for you, treat them like the rarity they are. Many people go through life without ever finding true friendship, and I suspect that will become more common in the future in our current age.