My dad was chronically late.
I would sometimes wait 2 hours for him to pick me up.
I remember waiting outside after a movie and after the theater closed. I remember waiting at the beach in the heat.
This is my memory of a part of my childhood.
The question becomes: how will I RESPOND to this story today?
I have every reason in the world to be chronically late. I could have internalized the pain I felt from feeling neglected and the general impatience and anxiety from not knowing when he would show up.
Instead, I’m never (like rarely ever) late.
And I’m grateful for my father. He helped me be better.
He showed me what not to do—don’t let people waiting.
And he is why I have such a strong appreciation for the value of time.
Understanding this story and my current self is paramount to having control over my life and results.
This isn’t always easy, and it’s not still pain-free, but it is the only way to live effectively, in my opinion.
How many mistakes and bad habits have you internalized from your childhood?
Every single repeating mistake you make is likely a byproduct of your brain’s need to adapt to your past. And that adaptation to your environment has since solidified into a subconscious habit.
As an adult, you do things without realizing the WHY because your neurons have solidified your brain through habit.
What’s great is you don’t need therapy to overcome your bad habits and the bad stories you tell yourself. (Therapy is still great for a lot of people, so I’m not discounting it at all.)
There are ways to change your habits today regardless of how difficult your past was. It requires a focus on certain principles of the mind.
And while going back to unpack your past can have tremendous benefit to your future self, it’s not the only thing, and for some, it isn’t all that necessary. (It really depends on the person.)
Inside the Better Mind program, we focus on what we call The Better Mind 8 Principles method to rebuild your mental models for life. These help you identify poor thought patterns and habits that keep you stuck. It enables you to focus on what you can control, so you are empowered to take ownership and action to get the life you want.
There is no way to circumvent your mind. You will have your mind forever. If you don’t learn how to control it, it will control you... FOREVER.