How To Be A Leader: Stop People Pleasing and Be Who You Are

“We've got to stop pandering and start leading.”-Victor Mitchell

We all need to become leaders.

We can lead our communities, our families, even in parts of our relationships.

Don’t mistake leader for dictator.

I’m not suggesting you tell people what to do or scold them every chance you get in the name of leading them.

No, what we need from leaders are two simple things.

We need leaders to stop people-pleasing and we need leaders to develop their own ideas and be willing to share them.

More than anything, be willing to disagree without being dogmatic.

A few traits of a successful leader include the willingness to say I don’t know, to have a lack of opinion rather than knowing everything. To empower people to question, challenge, and debate without the hostility and us vs them that usually comes with it.

For you, you can lead by becoming confident in who you are. Really, that’s it.

Instead of saying things that you think are “accepted,” state what you really think. If you haven’t spent time considering it, be willing to shrug your shoulders and say, “I don’t know... I haven’t thought about it much.”

This itself is leadership. It’s showing people that it’s OK to not have opinions on everything.

Today everyone expects everyone to stand on this side or that. But that’s a fools’ errand, and it’s the core reason so much of our society has become fractured and our politician system inefficient.

Relationships die because partners do and say what they think their partners want them to do any say. So they stifle what they really want to do and say.

Businesses die because no one challenges the CEO.

Countries die when you make enemies of your own countrymen.

We need more people committing to one side less, shrugging their shoulders more, and showing others its OK to discuss, disagree, and be OK with doing so.

It starts with the individual, you.

The more you question the world you live in, the more humbled you’ll become. This will translate into a step back from too strong convictions and all the trappings that come with it. Encourage others to do the same.

And when you really believe something because you’ve considered it, be willing to say that as well. Show people that you will be resolute when needed. You’ll get more respect by being flexible on other things.

We need more leaders and fewer pundits, idols, and talking head politicians.

The Daily 6

Daily quote:

We've got to stop pandering and start leading.

Victor Mitchell

Daily tip or recommendation:

Meditation doesn’t have to be an elaborate thing. Take 60 seconds to stare off and think about nothing. Let your thoughts float on by. In the shower is great. You can count your breath. The way I do it is this: count 1 in and 1 out with each breath, then 2, then 3. I try to visualize the number going from small to large then large to small in my mind. Try one minute today. This is a small practice that can have big effects.

Daily book recommendation:The Boron Letters - by Gary Halbert.

Gary is my favorite copywriter of all time. Some day he is the best. These are letters he wrote his son about life and writing when he was at Boron prison camp for mail fraud (apparently someone broke into his house and stole a bunch of unopened mail and then cashed the checks or took the cash and left no record. So Gary was unable to fulfill those orders and complaints filed in.).

Either way, Gary was a genius marketer. If you are remotely interested in writing or marketing, read this book. Another free resource is - amazing.

Daily health tip:

Epsom salt soak at night + take ZMA or a solid magnesium product. IF you struggle with sleep at all, make this your routine.

Daily Cooking Tip:

Preheat your pan... way more than you think. A hot pan, some oil, then a dried ingredient is the key to a good sear.

Daily thoughts about money:

Stowaway money in places you will forget then set reminders once a year, or never if you know you’ll eventually find it. Online savings accounts are great. Or cash somewhere in your closet works.

When it is out of sight, you won’t have the same mental energy assigned to trying to spend it. This is a real thing. Like a nagging to-do item that you want to finish, money “burns a hole in your pocket” the same way. So remove it from your brain and forget about it. That’s one of the keys to saving if you struggle to save.