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Fear Will Make or Break Your Life

Fear is the door to unlock

“You know, it is really very important while you are young to live in an environment in which there is no fear. Most of us, as we grow older, become frightened; we are afraid of living, afraid of losing a job, afraid of tradition, afraid of what the neighbours, or what the wife or husband would say, afraid of death. Most of us have fear in one form or another; and where there is fear there is no intelligence. And is it not possible for all of us, while we are young, to be in an environment where there is no fear but rather an atmosphere of freedom—freedom, not just to do what we like, but to understand the whole process of living? Life is really very beautiful, it is not this ugly thing that we have made of it; and you can appreciate its richness, its depth, its extraordinary loveliness only when you revolt against everything—against organized religion, against tradition, against the present rotten society—so that you as a human being find out for yourself what is true. Not to imitate but to discover—that is education, is it not? It is very easy to conform to what your society or your parents and teachers tell you. That is a safe and easy way of existing; but that is not living, because in it there is fear, decay, death. To live is to find out for yourself what is true, and you can do this only when there is freedom, when there is continuous revolution inwardly, within yourself.”

-Krisnumurti, J

Death ain’t so bad. After all, you’re dead, so what do you care?

The most easily propagandized people today don’t think about death. They avoid it. They distract themselves. They pretend it’ll never happen to them.

Fear is what you have when you lack understanding. The more you understand, the less you fear. Over time, as you sit with understanding, fear disappears. Poof, gone.

Conquering fear is the gateway to everything you want. There’s a Stoic concept known as the obstacle is the way. It’s often the thing right in front of you, that huge wall that looks too big or too hard, that is the exact price you must pay to get where you want to go. How you interpret that obstacle determines whether you’ll pretend it’s not there, try to go around it, or otherwise delude yourself from doing what you know you need to do: go right fucking through it. And that's why mindset is everything in life. Some see an obstacle, and some see an opportunity.

Let’s say you nod your head along with what I’m saying here. You get it. You know you need to work on those fears that hold you back. You might even know the fears that replay with that internal negative nancy voice in your mind. WTF are you supposed to do about it? How do you silence that voice and act in spite of these fears?

I don’t know. I have no idea how you can do that. I only know what’s worked for me and what I’ve heard from others. It’s probabilistically likely some of that will work for you, though it’s also—duality again—likely that none of it will. Why did God/the creator make life so damn hard? Because that’s how it’s also awesome—DUALITt BITCH.

Amor Fati is something Nietzsche talked about. I think the Stoics coined it. It means love of fate. The idea is to remind yourself of this in all the good times and bad times in life. ANd let me fucking tell you, it’s easier said than done. Right now, I’m typing this outside in the cold Austin weather. I very much dislike cold hands, but these fucking gloves are too thick, and I misspell every other word. here’s a picture of the situation. That’s not half of it. For nine days now, I’ve been dealing with “cedar fever.” It’s from the cedar trees doing their reproductive thing, releasing a bunch of cedar semen (i couldn't resist, maybe it’s called pollen, I don't fucking care) into the air.. And for whatever reason, maybe a few of those early vaccines i had, my allergies get fucking wrecked. Right now, as I type these words with my almost-numb hands, my left nostril has a drop of snot about to drip. You know that feeling where you need to wipe your nose, and it’s hanging right at the entrance—a very unsettling feeling. So I’m reminding myself to love my fate, which is to love this hard shit I’ve been going through and have each winter here in Austin. I decided, though, enough is enough. Next year, we will have a house in Florida, and we are going there for most of Winter. I don’t like the cold. I know it’s good for me, and it’s good for dualitic appreciation, but for a large swath of winter, sometimes a month at a time, my energy is fucked, my eyes are fucked, I can’t breathe, sleep is hard. You can only love fate soo much, so I'm doing something about it. I also should have probably gotten those allergy shots this year each year, I have the delusion that I’ll have finally built immunity. Nope. Hasn't happened.

This suffering is an opportunity, or it's an obstacle that holds me back. So rather than complain and feel bad for me—two things I have to fight off constantly—I should embrace my fate and use it however I can. I can use this health issue now to feel immense gratitude later when I get back to feeling normal. Feeling normal is the most fantastic thing ever, which you can only understand if you've spent periods of time in the not normal state. Duality, again.

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