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Live Show #1 - Control vs Can't Control

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For our first Better Human Live show, Colin gathered some amazing people to go over extremely interesting topics related to self-improvement, being a better human, breaking free of your internal and external chains, and more.

Today we're trying out a new format! The Better Human Podcast will henceforth feature unedited roundtable-style episodes that will cover everything related to our mission.

For our first Better Human Live show, Colin gathered some amazing people to go over extremely interesting topics related to self-improvement, being a better human, breaking free of your internal and external chains, and more.

Tune in weekly to join the group and get a bunch of amazing advice from people who know their stuff!

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TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Colin Stuckert: [00:00:00] All right. So we, we have someone on, so Spence is on, that's great. Hey, Hey Spence. We're going to do a Q and a. Well, we'll see how it goes. Probably after 20 or 30 minutes, depending on if more people trickle in, give him a chance, but the format Armando we're going to, I'm going to be the moderator.

[00:00:14] Okay. You can offer color commentary if you want here and there as good questions. Right? Okay. And we're going to review, I mean, you saw the format, we're going to review a big idea today. Then we're going to just do a Q and a if and whatever comes up, we'll chat about. So that's going to be cool and interactive and you know, this is the first show.

[00:00:32] So it's an experiment we're gonna learn. We're gonna do it every week. I'm looking forward to having it be something that will grow, you know, people want more too. Yeah. So let's, let's get you set up first since I'm actually recording you and me. And then I'll probably do share my screen. Let's see what let's just start with you and me first.

[00:00:49] So give you a quick intro. And I got a couple of questions that we will both answer. So I'll share the screen after that. So for now, just, just intro yourself and tell me, you know, what, what have you been up to the past week or two?

[00:01:05] Awesome. Yeah, my name is Armando Rivera, I'm a standup comedian based in Los Angeles.

[00:01:09] I've,  just been working every day as much as possible, creating as much content as I possibly can. And just learning.

[00:01:17] Colin Stuckert: [00:01:17] Just learning. So you've been, yeah, you've given an example. How have you

[00:01:21] been learning? So right now, I'm, I've been inside of the Adobe creative suite, been playing around with a lot of things in there.

[00:01:29]They've expanded it since the last time I've used it, which was like 2015, 2016. And so I'm just trying to get familiar, more familiar with everything they've added and seeing how it fits with how I create content and try to try to pick up a workflow.

[00:01:47] Colin Stuckert: [00:01:47] Well, what kinds of things we're trying to create?

[00:01:48] Because I mean, Adobe creative suite, like. You can be an animator for movies and that's all you do. You could be an editor and that's all you do. You could be a graphic designer. There's kind of like different different

[00:02:00] [00:01:59] these within that. Exactly. But I'm basically in the, I'm in the stage of looking at kind of like UX design I'm playing around with the UX design aspect, but it's mainly been audition.

[00:02:11] Adobe audition.

[00:02:12] Colin Stuckert: [00:02:12] Yeah. So audio podcasting.

[00:02:14] Yeah, exactly. I'm taking I'm taking a and audio mixing course right now. And so I've been learning how to like professionally sound mix because sound mixing. I w I was recording my podcasts out of garage band and it wasn't necessarily like. You know, it it's great.

[00:02:30] I love it. It's fantastic. And it's super simple and it's, it comes out really good. It's easy to cut things, but I want to kind of take it to the next level up, you know,

[00:02:41] Colin Stuckert: [00:02:41] so that's. My advice pick one thing, get good out of it at it. Yeah. Right. Don't try to learn audio and Hey, Sherry. Welcome. Nice background.

[00:02:52] So I'm going to try to like reinsure every time someone comes in, give an idea of what we're doing. We're doing a live podcast. Okay. It's going to be posted later. If anybody wants to share something later on, ask a question, it can be done via chat, or you could go on video or you can do audio, like whatever way you want.

[00:03:06] And then we'll talk about it. You know, I'm going to moderate for most of the show just to kind of have some, some structure this Armando's good friend of mine, and he's just gonna be here to be kinda my cohost. And we're gonna talk about one big idea today. We're going to then talk we're then going to do, I mean, that's going to be the kind of intro you and I will talk about a little bit, and then if anybody has any questions at the end of that, that will be like the segue into the Q and a, and then you know, if whatever, anybody wants to talk about any ideas of topics that come up, if we have time, we will go there.

[00:03:35] And I have some other things that we can do if we run out of topics, but I don't think that's actually going to be a problem. But let's start with, in fact, since we only have four people here might as well do something fun let's start with one thing you improve this week. And. We'll each go Sherry and Spence.

[00:03:51] If you want to drop that in chat you know, we, we can go first and get an idea. Just drop it in chat. One thing you improve this week, I'm on. Why don't you go first? This week

[00:03:57] I've gotten up earlier. I've gotten up [00:04:00] around

[00:04:00] Colin Stuckert: [00:04:00] when and when did you get up before? So before I

[00:04:03] was, it was kind of all over the place because I was having trouble sleeping and you know, everyone working from home and stuff like that.

[00:04:09] It's, it's, it's fun to have to manage

[00:04:12] Colin Stuckert: [00:04:12] schedule. Yeah.

[00:04:13] 100%. And, and not many, very many people are used to doing that. So I've been, yeah. Redoing that I was waking up around 10, 11, sometimes around 1130, 12, depending on the, the night that I had trying to like catch up on everything. Now I'm up to seven, eight trying to get a little earlier, but back to seven, eight

[00:04:33] Colin Stuckert: [00:04:33] o'clock well, when you also need to do that, you'll train your body so that every night your body will start getting tied around the same time.

[00:04:39] And the one, you know, sleep pack for this is make sure you're not on devices. A couple of hours before bed. Use night-shift use F dot Lux app, things like that. You don't want to be on a screen. You don't want that blue light. And you also don't want a lot of light in your environment because it wakes your biology up to think that the sun is out.

[00:04:55] Yeah. Hunter gatherers did not sleep when the sun was out like that. You get eaten doing that. Like you're kind of getting used to winding down your biology comes down your circadian rhythm in that. Right. So definitely reduced light exposure at night. Like. Just low light. I actually have these orange bulbs that I use all the time.

[00:05:09] I tried to get rid of all blue light in my environment. So Spence said she's let's see, I'm improving on my time management. That's I mean, it's everything, you know, what's funny about time management is like, if you think about it, that's life management, right? Like your life is just the time you spend that's all it is, right?

[00:05:24] Like you never, you never have more than this moment. And all you have is a bunch of moments and that's the most scarce resource that we all have. Right. Everyone thinks like money is scarce or this and that or opportunity. No, your time is scarce. Nothing else. Sherry says she's clearing up clutter. So I know exactly what we're talking about because I just moved I'm in my new room.

[00:05:41] Actually. There's like boxes everywhere. I it's crazy. I've moved like eight times in the past five years. And every time I throw, I feel like I throw away a quarter of my stuff. But I still have a bunch of stuff. So it's like the log math. I should have nothing left, but I still have way too much stuff up.

[00:05:55] Right. So clearing up clutter, I feel like is also just for the [00:06:00] mind. I mean, for me, it's just this as a mental thing, it saves time and saves energy. You don't have to see it. It doesn't take, it's got, it has kind of a, a mental weight, your stuff. Right. And I think also getting in the habit of accumulating stuff will save everyone time and money and not go into debt, et cetera.

[00:06:15] So welcome Kendra. Thanks for coming on. Actually I'll do it quick intro. We're going to do Q and a in about 30 minutes. Everyone's welcome to share to go on the mic if they want to just type or whatever. Right now we'll just kind of have the chat on monitoring the chat. And so if anything comes up specific, you want to us to talk about or come on, we're gonna cover one big idea though.

[00:06:32] We're having probably 10 minutes segment and then yeah, I mean, we're, it's the first one we've done. So we're experimenting where you get a lot of data from this and get a good format. Sherry and Spence just shared something. They improve this week. You can see that in the chat time management clearing up clutter.

[00:06:47]Both of these, actually, if you, if you look at them there, there's a theme of simplicity there. You know, and if you think about our modern environment, full of complexity, full of stuff full of this, that you know, we need to get back to simplicity. And that's actually been a big thing in my life for 2021 is focused simplicity and living what I call a deep life.

[00:07:03]So this deep life is this idea that you have a few things. I mean, literally at the end of your life, there's only a few things you're gonna care about. You don't care about community, your people you're gonna care about purpose and work you did, and whether it made a difference. Right. And you're gonna, you're gonna remember experiences and hardships, actually.

[00:07:19] It's funny. It's funny how your hardships are actually things you end up remembering and almost appreciating for making you better, you know, but it's like, you're not going to think about that crap you had, that you bought in 20, 21 or like, you know, or that big house of stuff you have, you, you just literally won't care.

[00:07:34] But the problem is in the moment. Now we think we care more. Our biology drives us to want accumulate things, inquire resources, right? It's a survival mechanism. We think the more stuff we have, the safer we are, et cetera. So it's just something we have to, we've got to think long-term. You know, and accumulate stuff.

[00:07:49] So we got we got, we got a goal for from Sherry. We got, my goal is to get rid of toxic people by July 1st, July 1st. That's a funny date to pick up. I love it. That's good though. [00:08:00] I, I have no time for them, but I do empathize for people that haven't been cognizant of it. If you have strong. Routines.

[00:08:06] And you have coworkers, family, whatever. Like, I mean, mitigating people in your environment is the hardest. I think the hardest thing people have to do ever. Right. Maybe you can maybe you can offer some commentary in that Armando because you dealt with in your standup comic career. Yeah, where you had some, you know, kind of some negative minded, like struggling artists syndrome that you didn't really want to get pulled into, you know, like tell us about that real quick.

[00:08:29] Yeah. No 100% stand up comedy, especially when you're starting out is specifically in that beginning stages when you're going out to open mikes and stuff like that. You, you you're around a lot of people. It's like a misery loves company situation where a lot of people. Exactly. It's people who, you know, when you're in an artistic medium or a creative medium, a lot of people think that to get the best work or the funniest joke, or, you know, write a good script for a movie, whatever, what have you they have to be suffering.

[00:08:58] There has to be some sort of terrible thing going on in their life, where they had to have this terrible thing that's happened to them before. And you know, sometimes, you know, you could find beauty in those things and they do, you know, they do help in a sense, you know, where you can draw from them.

[00:09:14] But there I was around people that were looking for that. I was around people that were living life. To then have like material for the stage, like, Oh, I'm going to every situation, everything I do is going to be based on whether it works on stage for me or whether I do this, this terrible risky thing or, or I have a horrible sleep pattern or I eat really badly or

[00:09:36] Colin Stuckert: [00:09:36] yeah.

[00:09:37]That's not the right there. I think they're confusing. What they're trying to do. If you think about it, if you're trying to like learn from struggle in life. I mean, the, what you're trying to do is grow out of struggle. And that, and that, you know, so you shouldn't be looking for struggle and then misery, cause then, I mean, are you gonna be successful in your career?

[00:09:59] Like, isn't it, [00:10:00] it's almost like at odds, it's like, you want to just be not successful forever because then you feel like you'll be funny, but then you'll never be successful in your career. So you can't really have both at the same time. Right? You can't like aim to be a loser and then win at comedy, you know, like, but every struggle.

[00:10:14] Because you're going out of it and through it, there's comedy and there's lessons. And like, that's the whole point. It's like, you're trying to get better at it. Not just suffer for the point of suffering. Exactly. And

[00:10:24] that's, that's exactly what, you know, it's so funny how, how it's counter or counterintuitive.

[00:10:29] It's like, I, you know, the reason I saw, I know the reason I've seen any success was because even in my struggle, I've strived to. Be healthier, mentally, be healthier physically. Make sure that I'm putting, you know, if you're not, you can't put out your best work, you just can't. And, and so when I've been, my healthiest is when I've been my sharpest mentally because it's a big mental game coming up with material and being on stage and entertaining

[00:11:02] Colin Stuckert: [00:11:02] is life.

[00:11:02] So it was a hundred percent. So it was overcoming struggle. That's all, that's what it is. Iron sharpens iron, right? Like you don't get better through softness. You get better through hardship. Right. So, okay. That was one thing we improved this week. But. It's good. Cause I want to kind of go in order. I want to have a little bit of format.

[00:11:18] I want to learn from this and try a bunch of different things. And then obviously we'll take feedback from everyone listening and the future listeners that will watch or listen to this or watch that, I guess I'll put on YouTube too. We'll be able to watch it or listen to this on iTunes or podcast or any of those other places.

[00:11:32] So that was one thing we improved this week. Let's do one thing. Kind of specific, Oh, I didn't go. Okay. One thing I improve this week, I'll give you something I'm improving slash struggling with, and maybe everyone can kind of empathize with this. So I read a really good book recently. It's I am enough by Melissa piers.

[00:11:50]Amazing. Like I just, like, I could not believe it. And like, I'm going to probably dive into all of her work and I've never really heard about her and somebody recommended it. And I, so I read it within two days as I like, I [00:12:00] like to do, and it's been amazing. So. She says that a good technique. If you find yourself kind of jumping to anger or negativity, or, you know, like we all have that emotional reaction to life, right?

[00:12:11] Like we have that inner person that kind of. You know, like it becomes Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, like the whole comes out. Right. And so I'm trying to visualize that happening when I find myself welling up to, to anger or to negativity. And I'm not, I'm not an angry person, but there's just certain things that I want to have better control over.

[00:12:26] So I have like pure stoic equanimity. Like I just don't want to control to any, or respond to anything in life unless I really. Decide to like, I want to have mastery of my mind. Right. So that's a big focus for me and just life in general. And I still let certain things get to me, you know? And like moving is obviously stressful.

[00:12:43] I feel like I didn't, I didn't get that stress this time because I mean, but it's still stressful thing. They say it's actually the most stressful thing you ever do. I totally, I totally believe that. So what she recommends in the book is she says name that inner person, name them something. So the first thing that came to my mind was Chris, because when I was younger, I wanted to change my name to Chris because I was like young and like, Colin is in the common name or whatever.

[00:13:07] Right. And so I'm like, it just, it's just okay. To me, it's the first thing. Right? You could like name it like Voldemort or something if you wanted to. But now what I'm doing is every time I feel that like, if somebody cuts me off in traffic or yeah. I find myself, you know, getting frustrated by the organization of the fridge.

[00:13:23]I'm like Chris has coming out. He's tried to come out, you know, and I want to keep him in. I want to not let Hulk come out, you know, and I'm telling you these simple mental kind of tricks can be very powerful and. When they, when you become more aware of them, you do them more often. Then they become like a real strategy.

[00:13:42] That's like built into your psyche. And now you've separated a little bit from the reaction. Like you just respond to things too. Now you control how you respond to things and that's just like, that's huge. Right? So that's something I've been doing, you know just not letting those small stressors of life that I, I, you know, they don't care when I'm on my death bed.

[00:13:59] I'm not going to care [00:14:00] about them. Why am I wasting my time on them? Why am I wasting the most valuable, precious thing I have, which is my attention and my time. And, and actually even just my mental happiness, like, why am I giving that to some external thing? Right. So that's a really, really big thing for me and everything I'm now actually doing with better human school and everything, but that's for me.

[00:14:16] So that's something that I'm improving. I'm naming my inner Hulk and I'm trying to keep him at Bay. Right. And getting better at that. And that's my struggle and what I've been improving. So any, anything that anybody's been stuck with or struggled this week, you drop it in the chat. We will. Okay. So Sherry shared, so last child grads, high school, boy Scouts, girl Scouts, band strings turned 60 time to do for myself.

[00:14:42] So it sounds like you have a lot going on and you're trying to find time for yourself. If I'm reading that correctly. Boy Scouts, girl Scouts. I was in boy Scouts. Yeah. That's yeah. And girl Scouts. Yeah. And band. Wow. So the last child graduates high school soon. So it looks like. That's that's. I mean, that's, that's amazing.

[00:15:02] My, my sons are two and six months. I can't even fathom it and be like driving cars and stuff. It's so crazy. Wow. 40 years of kids. That is incredible. Yes. That's amazing. I mean, I gotta say that's that's a lot seriously. I mean, it's a, it's an accomplishment that doesn't get appreciated in our society as much like that's legit and accomplishment.

[00:15:25]I will say, I just heard one crying. That's yeah. That's amazing. So struck, stuck or struggling Armando, because you improved your sleep. What's something you, you have been stuck or struggling with this week. Focus.

[00:15:40] Staying focused reducing distraction. You know, last year I had to cut down a lot of things, as far as you know, monetarily, we moved into a smaller place in the beginning of the year, so, and I'm

[00:15:52] Colin Stuckert: [00:15:52] married because you can't do gigs.

[00:15:54] Right. So it's cut into your income a lot, right? Exactly. 100%. So, and you're in LA, which is crazy [00:16:00] town. Yeah, it

[00:16:01] is absolutely. There's a lot of, I mean, even if you want to get into the whole, there's a lot of untreated mental illness here that people

[00:16:08] Colin Stuckert: [00:16:08] I know, right. No, those should lead socially acceptable mental illness, but we don't even need to talk about that.

[00:16:13] It's not worth the energy a

[00:16:14] hundred percent. So you know, yeah. I cut into my, my. My, my finances, essentially my income. So we moved into a smaller place. I'm married. I'm used to being able to have as any couple has. I'm used to being able to have time away from my wife during the day, and then reconvene or, you know, we used to start every morning together and that was great.

[00:16:36] And I would go to work or I'd go go out to a coffee shop to write all day, and then I'd have a gig at night and then I'd come home and we reconvene and talk about our day. So now it's come to wear all day. Every day inside together, my wife works from home. So, you know, we have our

[00:16:54] Colin Stuckert: [00:16:54] dog, you work in the same room.

[00:16:56] Are you having trouble focusing? Because like, somebody is always next to you that you can talk to 100%,

[00:17:01] we're in a studio. So now

[00:17:03] Colin Stuckert: [00:17:03] you didn't have a room like a door. No, no, it's literally like,

[00:17:07] I can see you, you know, and, and. It's been, and I know it's been the same thing for her. Cause I'm, you know, not I'm, I'm not perfect, you know, I'm sure if she looks at me and she's like, God, I just want to get this, you know, this media list done and he's right there and he's watching law and order, you know,

[00:17:25] Colin Stuckert: [00:17:25] dude, that's what, that's why that's why university invented

[00:17:29] yeah.

[00:17:29] 100% headphones, but then it's like, we're also, you know, when you're talking about evolutionarily. As creatures when we see things we're like where

[00:17:39] Colin Stuckert: [00:17:39] squirrels, it's a skill I'm telling you focuses a skill. For sure.

[00:17:43] So that's, that's been kind of, my struggle is crafting that, that focus aspect and making sure that I'm, when I sit down to do work, that it's focused, that it's, you know, even if it's an hour, if it's two hours, if I can get three and then break it up.

[00:18:00] [00:17:59] You know that it's, it's focused and that it's, you know, cause a little bit of focused work

[00:18:05] Colin Stuckert: [00:18:05] is background noise. It's my dog. She's losing it. He, she, she needs to get her stuff together. Literally she picks the

[00:18:12] perfect time every time when I'm on, whenever I'm on a call, she's like, it's play time now.

[00:18:17] But Yeah. So it's just been trying to get the, the focus work down and kind of making sure that when I sit down that I'm getting the most out of my time.

[00:18:28] Colin Stuckert: [00:18:28] Yeah. So if the dog, he keeps going, just mute when you're not talking. Sure. That'll say that. Yeah, I'll give you a couple of tips for focus. I would, I would try for the same room don't face each other.

[00:18:36] Don't be in any way to which like you're in your vision, right? Yeah. And obviously headphones, some kind of background music or noise, like white noise even works for some people or like rain. Yeah. And then I would try something like the Palmer door technique, which is 20, usually it's like 20, 25 minutes on.

[00:18:52] And then you take a five minute break that can work for some people. I prefer to just go, like I've been working from coffee shops lately and it becomes kind of a white noise thing, but there can be distractions here and there just kind of depends on what I'm focused on. But yeah, I mean the, in the house that's tough.

[00:19:09] I mean, I was at least have my room, so I'll have to think I'm a little bit more, but you, you you're gonna have to test things. Biggest thing about productivity. And I actually spends made a comment about trying to stay on task. She's in grad school here, all her children have graduated. So again, congratulations to that as well.

[00:19:24]So I would recommend reading deep work by Cal Newport. All right. Or at least reading the book summary or reading an article about it. And that's. Paramount. I mean, if you could leave the house for a couple hours, Armando, and like find a place to do a session, that would be huge, you know, but I I've told people for years, like if you can carve out two hours a day where you can be alone undisturbed un-distracted and here's the most important thing, you turn your notifications off, you turn your phone off.

[00:19:49] Okay. I mean like anybody that's trying to do real work, whether it's graduate work, whether it is creative work writing, like if you have your phone on and you're checking and you're going back and forth, [00:20:00] you are literally sapping your best and most creative self. Like you're basically closing the door to it.

[00:20:06] It's impossible. If you look at the end of the research into the flow state and deep work and all the, just neuroscience around all this.  And like you said, focus is a skill. I mean, you can get to a point where you could focus anywhere any time, because you can like, again, it's, it's almost like meditation, right?

[00:20:21] The monk that lit himself on fire to protest the Vietnam war stood there, or sat there as he's being burned alive. Like, that's just like, I mean, I've thought I've thought about that a lot. Like that's incredible. And that is just purely. Control of the mind. And that's, that's why the mind to me is so fascinating and why that I'm spending the second half, half of my life focused on it.

[00:20:41] Right. But yeah, deep work is huge. A couple hours a day of focused work then kind of do like shallow work later on. Like, if you can do like phone calls and texts and small and like research, you know, but don't combine like internet browsing. In like slacking and texting and like doing all things you can do with trying to do real work it like it just doesn't exist.

[00:21:00] And people that are going to move forward now in having an advantage or people that can focus, because why, because our world today is more distracted than ever. And most people are just a product of the billion dollar tech companies. I mean, think about it. They spend billions in advertising, marketing and product design, and they hire the smartest people in the world whose singular goal is to get you addicted to a screen, to their product.

[00:21:23] Like anything, you're just going to like, overcome that. Cause you have willpower. Like it literally does. It doesn't happen. It's just like myself. My biology is if I want chocolate or anything. And that sweet tooth comes on, even though I'm one of the strictest eaters. I know if it's in the house, I'll find it.

[00:21:39] Right. So it either has to be hidden from me or it's gotta be like a big enough thing where I don't want to drive to the store to get it right. Like I have to have a big hurdle. Right. So I just don't keep it in the house. So, if you don't want to eat something, it can't be in the house. It's like very simple, you know, when you, and when you accept these things about who you are and your biology, and these are actually just, these are just human traits.

[00:21:56] It's not even like a person thing, right? When you accept [00:22:00] them, you can build routines around them and really get to that next level. So spend said she most of the audio books I currently listen to more than enough. That's great. I would highly recommend Marisa peer's book. I am enough since, I mean, there you go.

[00:22:11] More than enough. It's great. All mindset focused and deep work is huge for work. So let's, let's get to the, the big idea. So I'm going to actually. I'm going to probably share it that we're going to share this. You can unmute as long as your dog's not acting crazy or Mondo so that it doesn't feel perfect.

[00:22:30] Yeah, no, you're good. No. And I just want to add to what you said though. Yeah. Jordan Peterson. I was reading the 12 rules of life and he, he said it's really it's, it's, it's exactly what you're saying. You have to consciously make the decision. And people think it's tricking yourself and it's not necessarily tricking.

[00:22:49] Cause when you trick yourself, then you create like this resentment in your mind where you're like, I. And babysitting myself. You actually have to do exactly what you said, make those conscious decisions. I'm going to put my phone aside. I'm going to sit down. I'm going to consciously sit and do this work and make sure I don't touch it.

[00:23:06] You don't have to put up fail safes. It's it's one of those ones. Okay. I won't, I'm not going to keep food in the house because I know. That it, you know, certain foods that that's, that's advice for me. So I'll make sure that I don't go and

[00:23:19] Colin Stuckert: [00:23:19] do that. But here's the thing though. It's okay to trick yourself.

[00:23:23] If it's your, if it's the thing that you ultimately want, like, if you're tricking yourself in the moment to not like eat in and out burger, which I drove by earlier, and I was just like, I'm in a new city, my routine is kind of messed up and I'm like, this little things were pecking at me and I'm like, yeah, let's get in and out.

[00:23:37] And I'm like, I'm like, no, just drive by it, drive right by it. And so if I can trick myself in those moments and I come back to my baseline, my baseline is I don't, I don't mind eating that crap. Right. So I'm always for doing anything to alter my environment or do whatever, because 30 minutes later when I've like, you know, tricked myself or, or whatever, restricted myself, I'm, I'm [00:24:00] better.

[00:24:00] Like, I'm glad, you know, so it's always that long-term versus short-term thing. But yeah, there's like, you know, when it comes to habits and, and. I mean, Oh man, that's, that's a whole, that's a whole topic that will, but like the lesson today is very much in line with that. And so this is actually the slides for the, the first week of the better mind program.

[00:24:21] Okay. And this just launched recently. So we're in beta, basically a lot of testing tweaking. I have a group option, which we'll be doing a monthly call like this to review, and then I have a self-serve option. I'll be putting out tons of free content here and there. And actually the weekly call is, you know, basically a glimpse into it every so often.

[00:24:37]So actually I should have shared this with you ahead of time. I'm Armando, but we'll do it next time. I had a funny thing I wanted to do. Basically, basically to basically talk about how, like, who sponsors the show. Okay. But I don't know that doesn't tell you much. We'll add your comedic flare to it next I'll work on.

[00:24:55] Yeah, but we're gonna go through this for 10 minutes and on this. Feel free to jump in Armando and add or ask in whatever way you want. And then we'll take Q and a. And so I don't actually see chat. Is there a way to like see chat while you also have the video sharing? I've got to figure how to do this.

[00:25:13] There it is. I could I can take a look at the chat if you want. Yeah. Keep an eye on the chat in case anybody hops in. And they want me to like pause and talk about something. We can do that. Absolutely. Okay. So we got, this is lesson one and as I was building out the better mine program. Which I mean, in a nutshell, it's how to think based on first principles from the greatest ideas from humanity that have stood the test of time.

[00:25:35] Okay. So here's the way to think about this because I know this is a little vague, so Amazon, everyone knows Amazon and Jeff Bezos. Right. You know what they ask Amazon all the time, reporters, you know, whatever. They're like, well, what's next? What do you predict? What's the future, right? Because Amazon's a innovative company and they they're they're they spend billions on experiments all the time.

[00:25:54] And you want to what they say every time. They say, in fact, I should move my camera. I'm like looking to the side. Okay, here we go. [00:26:00] They say we don't try to predict the future. We focused on things that aren't going to change. Okay. Now think about what Amazon has done. It used to be like a prime. Prime was like two day shipping.

[00:26:11] And if you spent 49, it was free. Like whatever, I think it was, or maybe it was four days now it's gotten down almost a day. Right? Why? Because customers always want their stuff fast. That's something that doesn't change. That's the first principle customers always want huge selection. So Amazon is continually letting other sellers sell on their platform to basically have unlimited options.

[00:26:31] You can find anything that you possibly want. I've seen people buy mini homes on Amazon. Okay. Unlimited selection. That's the first, that's the first principle of customer buyer, right. They're always going to want as much product options possible. Okay. And then I forgot the third one, one actually. I think it was service and just in.

[00:26:50] Like really good service and customer support. Right. And like easy things like that. Right. So those three things though have been the entire focus of Amazon, even though they've done like the, all these other massive things, they're always around that customer obsession of giving the customer things that they always want and always going to want and investing in infrastructure that allows them to do that.

[00:27:08] Right. I mean, they own planes, cargo ships, warehouses, like Amazon owns I've, I've forgot the number, but I think as many trucks as like. Like FedEx or ups or something like, it's pretty crazy actually. And that's just from business, you know? So the idea there, the analogy is if we can take the first principles of how to think as a human, right?

[00:27:29] What did Socrates figuring out? What is, what did Aristotle figure out? What, what is Elan must figure it out like modern success. And then everybody along the way, like some of the greatest artists, writers authors of all time. Right? When I was in college, the short period, I was, nobody taught me how to think.

[00:27:46] They just told me things to memorize. Okay. And, you know, obviously philosophy the class I never took. I really wish I would have that probably would have changed my life because philosophy is probably the closest thing to how to think and how to live that you can find, especially in a modern [00:28:00] curriculum.

[00:28:00] But most of my philosophy research and learning was just on my own. I just kind of happened into it through stoicism. Right. But for most people, there's no real frameworks for how to think. And even how the mind works. Like we have a little bit of understanding of psychology, but that's more from like the clinical sense in some ways, or like the old models.

[00:28:21] And it also doesn't really tell you how to not fall into those traps yourselves, unless you decide to become a psychologist. Right. So there's just a lot lacking here and the way I think about it in the world today, and, Oh, we got another one. We've got another one hopped in and I recognize her face. Who hopped in.

[00:28:37] Do you see, does it show the names? Cause it'll show me, Brenda. Brenda. Hey Brenda. Okay.

[00:28:42] Good.

[00:28:43]Colin Stuckert: [00:28:43] So Brenda real quick if, if you have anything you want us to stop on or comment on or ask about, just drop it in the chat and we're kind of doing the chat right now, we'll do a live Q and a after this lesson would be like a 10 to 15 minute lesson. We're gonna go through it. My co-host Armando here is a good friend of mine.

[00:28:57] He's here to offer commentary and throw in his bits of young wisdom every so often. So back to my point though, when I was trying to think about how I can help people. And I've done the health thing for years. I've been giving people health advice for years. And one of the things that I got most frustrated with was it felt like people could, like, they would take what I.

[00:29:20] Told them you should do. And they just wouldn't do it. Or they might do it for a week or whatever. Right. And that, that, that, why is that like that core question? How can I get people to really take control over their life and their decisions and their habits and control their environment so that they can then actually get healthy.

[00:29:38] But at the same time, they'll be happy. And there'll be fulfilled and there'll be successful and maybe they'll get out of debt, like whatever. Right? Every single thing that the human, the modern human wants. Right. And actually experiences comes down to this. What is this? Our motto? It's literally everything, I think a hundred percent.

[00:29:56] And you've been really sad in your life. [00:30:00] What I mean when somebody like poking with a sad stick, like, why were you sad? Right. Think about what caused you. You said. Yeah, your mind, your mind was making the decision. And like, obviously, you know, you're going to go through emotions. We're emotional creatures.

[00:30:14] This is not about being, you know, Buddha in the, in the woods, under a tree for seven years, meditating. Like this is about recognizing these things and getting a grasp of them. So that we can build really good models and actually live a deep, fulfilling, meaningful life. And so for me, it just kept coming down to the mind, like I can put out all the health content in the world, but if people aren't really taking action, I feel like I'm just wasting my breath.

[00:30:35] And also there's plenty of people putting out amazing information. I just kind of felt like I was, I was done sharing and I let other people do that. And I want to focus more on that big one thing that you know is going to be the difference between success, happiness. You know, fitness for some health, eating, whatever, and it always comes down to the mind.

[00:30:52] So that's why this is the core foundational lesson in the better human program. And so we see here, we got a quote, why don't you read that for me? Your motto everyday

[00:31:02] we hear is an opinion, not effect. Everything we see is a, is a perspective, not the truth.

[00:31:08] Colin Stuckert: [00:31:08] Marcus, what do you think about that?

[00:31:11] I think it's 100% true.

[00:31:13] I think it, it, there's so many things that w it's all perspective when, when someone's

[00:31:21] Colin Stuckert: [00:31:21] a hundred percent,

[00:31:23] 100%. It's like you go to that last line and the last line of that quote range true for the beginning. It's it's anything anyone tells you from their point of view is. What they see to be fact, you know, and of course we all agree.

[00:31:38] There are scientific things. There's, there's things that are, you know, laws of nature and what happened, but when it comes to things in your mind, when it comes to how people decide to, to feel about certain things, it's all based on their own perspective

[00:31:54] Colin Stuckert: [00:31:54] relationship. But what, why, what is your perspective, your perspective in [00:32:00] mind?

[00:32:00] What's the difference?

[00:32:02] Our experiences,

[00:32:03] Colin Stuckert: [00:32:03] our experiences. Is there anything else?

[00:32:06] Our experiences, I'm not, I'm,

[00:32:09] Colin Stuckert: [00:32:09] I'm a little lost on that. Our knowledge. Yeah, right? Yeah. You know, our, our

[00:32:14] built up experience or

[00:32:15] Colin Stuckert: [00:32:15] knowledge, the things we're good at and things we're not good at. Right. Like everything. So if there's 7 billion humans on the planet, what does that mean?

[00:32:24] There are 7 billion. What perspective perspectives? I think about that. Why do you think politics is so crazy? There's seven is each one unique on its own. We already get that every human is unique. Every fingerprint is unique, right. But we had this idea that we should all somehow think the same way, or like, you know, we try to try ballistically, push ourselves into groups of left first.

[00:32:44] Right. And this and that. And this was like, that's, it's, it's impossible. Because it's impossible, right? Things

[00:32:50] are just, things are too new for it to be. So just so you know, black and white, everything is everyone that has, you may find someone that is the closest, the most similar to you, but there is something in their experience in their life, or what have you, or skillset that is just

[00:33:10] Colin Stuckert: [00:33:10] a little different.

[00:33:11]

[00:33:11] Well, think about that. So identical twins. Right. Why do they end up being different and thinking differently and to, and pursuing different career paths, whatever, unless they literally stay together. And unless they're assigned these twins where you're connected, you would have different experiences, right?

[00:33:29] Because you go do this, they go off and do that one day. You're here. They are there. So, but even, even Siamese twins, because you're going to interpret the experience a hundred percent. Yep. Exactly. Different brain, right. Different consciousness, completely one person might see and hear that thing. And this had, might be turned that way.

[00:33:45] Absolutely. Okay. So let's so we don't just to make sure we don't go over on time. This is a lot of slides. I'm going to go through all of them and it kind of, I'm going to pick through them, but let's just get to some of these other big ideas. Okay. So yeah. I'm not going to talk about that, but thoughts and [00:34:00] energy and energy are interchangeable.

[00:34:01]Einstein showed that basically the more we get into things like string theory and quantum mechanics, it's everything. What they're realizing is, is energy like this. Mike, I think it's a physical object. It's actually that, that I broke, just broke is actually energy. It's just, you know, combined together.

[00:34:18] I mean, humans are energy. We're a bunch of atoms that are held together through energy and thoughts. I'm doing a podcast.

[00:34:24]Okay. What was the here? It's right here. Come in. So when you think something, it manifests to a physical action, right? I mean, think about it. Someone had to think about this Mike, before they can make it right. So that's just, just real quick, just think about that. The idea of this lesson is to convey to you the importance of controlling what you think.

[00:34:45]In your mind and how and how it works, right? The Buddhists they call it monkey mind. Most people respond to their environment, their minds just going like this. It's thinking a mile a minute, it stresses anxious. This is that or whatever. Right. And most people have little control over that. And so when they're happy, it's because everything in their environment is like, perfect.

[00:35:05] And when, and then the rest of the time, they're either like, not like kind of irritated or they're straight up unhappy. Yeah, because their environment is imperfect because life isn't perfect. Right? So the goal for me and what I'm doing with everything I'm doing for rest of my life is to help people take control over their minds and then direct the way they think let's get this going to get what they want in life.

[00:35:29] Yeah, right. Very simple. Okay. So thoughts are energy. Energy is interchangeable mass. When you have a thought, think about that as a physical thing. And if you have a negative thought, that's going to manifest to a negative thing in reality, in your environment, right. This, these are, I'm trying to get you to think.

[00:35:46] About your mind and your thoughts like, so the first step is kind of being aware of these things, being aware of the patterns and how things work. And then you, you will develop your own strategies for really taking control, whether you want to, you know, study better and focus more, whether you want to lose [00:36:00] weight, whether you want to do this, whatever.

[00:36:01] Right. It's all going to come up down to this. Okay. So here's a good one. Amando, who's responsible for your thoughts. It's only you, but what about somebody that like they stole from you? They, they, they robbed your house. Yeah. It doesn't,

[00:36:15] it doesn't matter. It's an external factor.

[00:36:17] Colin Stuckert: [00:36:17] Well, if somebody robs from you though, that's not fair, huh?

[00:36:20] Yeah. It isn't who has to deal with it. It's you exactly right. No matter why somebody did something. Yeah. Who is the person that has to deal with the results?

[00:36:33] It's you you're left with a result in the end.

[00:36:35] Colin Stuckert: [00:36:35] Right. And even if, and so I'm kind of aiming at the victim mentality here, which we see a lot is people they get stuck in blaming other people for things and whatever.

[00:36:43] And my problem with that is, is it's not even that you're wrong because yeah, people do crappy things. People hurt people. They lie, they cheat, they steal. But for every ounce of energy that we spend focused on them externally, we're removing our agency to fix a problem for our life and to live better. And that's, that's what our goal is.

[00:37:01] If somebody hurts us, What are you trying to get to Armando? What are you trying to do after somebody hurts us? You're trying to heal. You're trying to get better. You're trying to get back to basically. So if somebody hurts you one time, they do one thing and you obsess over and it weighs on your mind and causes anxiety and stress.

[00:37:16] What are you now doing? Every moment? You're continuing

[00:37:19] to regress. You're not, you've gone from that hurt moment. And you're now going downhill

[00:37:25] Colin Stuckert: [00:37:25] from there. Well, it can pull you, it's pulling you back to it, but when you also doing by choice, every moment, you're continuing the suffering, making a choice.

[00:37:33] Exactly. Right. Right. Right. So if somebody hurts you, once you get upset, five minutes, great. You move on. Okay. But then every day you, you know, you're blaming, you're yelling, you're complaining, whatever everyday you're reliving that thing. If you actually think about it logically, it makes no sense. Like somebody hurt me.

[00:37:50] I don't like that. They hurt me, but I'm going to basically self-inflict hurt to myself every day because that's going to get them back. Right. Like they're going to care [00:38:00] so much. Right. Even though they never do. And you know, like it's just a delusion. Right. So, so far we've covered. Your mind is everything.

[00:38:10] We talked about that. Okay. We've got this awesome quote from Marcus. When you have a thought, it's the same thing as a physical manifestation in real life, right? So it's very important. Like if you have negative thoughts all day, you're going to get negativity in your, in your life. We'll expand on that more we covered.

[00:38:22] Are you responsible for your thoughts regardless of what happens to you? Right? Like we established that. Yes. There's no way to refute that. Like, I don't think there's any way, like if somebody can feel free to correct me, but no matter what happens to you, you still have to control how you respond to it.

[00:38:37] Absolutely. Right. Like the president can't wake up and like put like strap you in with a machine and like ch make your mind change. Like, like nobody owes you anything. You can do anything like your parents can't whatever. Right. It's only, it's always going to be you. Okay. Okay. So this is a big one because, and this is, again, very much goes to the, a little bit of the victim mindset and just getting kind of stuck in blame.

[00:38:59]What I've noticed is that when we fall into that mode, where we blame people and we get angry at external circumstances, We feel like we're justified and that we're being right. And maybe like from a moral equation perspective, we are right. Because they did this thing. It it's not right. Maybe it's even illegal and they should go to jail or whatever.

[00:39:20] Okay. But like we talked about, is that getting me any closer to where I want to be? So, so I asked you, I said, where do you want to go after somebody hurts you? Yeah. You want to,

[00:39:31] you want to. Go into yourself essentially. Well, but if

[00:39:36] Colin Stuckert: [00:39:36] you, but what was the answer you gave before?

[00:39:40] Re reframe,

[00:39:40] Colin Stuckert: [00:39:40] rephrase the question.

[00:39:42] Nobody hurts you, right? So they pull you into a negative place. Right for year and a, you want to heal? Yeah. What do you want? You want to heal slash getting back to where you were and then ideally with a growth mindset, you go beyond it. But for now people hurt us. Right? They do something, something happens.

[00:39:57] And this is not just people. This could be environment. This could be like knocking the job we [00:40:00] want. Like there's a million things that can happen, right? Like the IRS decides to audit you whatever. Exactly. We want to get to our, at least our baseline of not having to get depressed. Right, exactly. Right.

[00:40:11] Exactly. So when you're spending time blaming and complaining and being kind of stuck in like the morality of it, you're you're, you can be right all day long with that. And you can be like, when you complain, you're probably right. Like, life's not fair and it's hard and whatever, right. But it's not getting you to where you want to be.

[00:40:28] The two places you want to be. You want to be back to baseline and then you want to be even better. And that's what I mean better is really where we should all try to go, but we at least want to get back to the way it was before. And that's obvious and we all get that, but we're, most of us are not very good at kind of doing that on purpose.

[00:40:45] You know, guys, let's go. The next slide. So as we talked about everything is opinion. Okay. So my very crude drawing here. Okay. Your happiness sadness or average, this is an opinion, a judgment of your life. All right. So if everything is opinion, right. And we see here in this graphic, we have arrows point to your brain, and that is stimuli.

[00:41:05] Stimuli is kind of going at us at all times of the day, always. Right? What happens is our brain interprets that stimuli. Okay. And then it forms a label. And then that label. Can you read my handwriting? Try to read my handwriting. What is it? What does that say after you form a label? What are those labels?

[00:41:21] We usually assign it. So at

[00:41:23] the top, everything is opinion and form a label and then interprets stimuli.

[00:41:29] Colin Stuckert: [00:41:29] Well, formulate is below unless it's like backwards because the spirit,

[00:41:33] yeah. Yeah. Downward. Yeah. Good, safe. Everything bad. Yeah. And then I

[00:41:39] Colin Stuckert: [00:41:39] can't see, I don't even know what that last line was.

[00:41:43]Everything in between. Oh no, it's good. Safe, bad, unsafe. Okay. Yeah. Then everything in between. Right? Right. So what your primal brain is doing is everything that comes in as a stimuli, your brain it's primary job is to keep you alive. Right. And a secondary [00:42:00] job is to do what do you know is to.

[00:42:03] You know, keep you alive.

[00:42:05] And I don't give me this. I make babies.

[00:42:08] Colin Stuckert: [00:42:08] Oh yeah. Perfect. And in fact, the only reason that the only reason it wants to keep you alive is because they want you to make babies and properly species. Right? So the first thing that we analyze everything from is, is this safe? Meaning, is it like, or, or desirable?

[00:42:21] Like, is it food? Yes. Good. Safe, right? Or is it unsafe, right? Is it dangerous animal or cave? Dark. Right. Because threaten to survival versus would be pro survival. Right. And that's kind of the, the basic framework, you know, that, that's part of the reason why humans fall into like black versus white thinking so much just tribalistic and it's safer to say you're different, you're unsafe.

[00:42:43] You're like you're safe. Right. That's kind of like a core summary of why that happens. Yeah, but what happens is you interpreted the stimuli, your brain forms that label you very quickly put something into a box because again, quickly assessing things is a survival adaptation. That's right. Like if you just like, you're afraid of every dark alley.

[00:43:01] Well, if you go, if you avoid a thousand dark alleys and someone else goes into a thousand dark alleys, that person going into the thousand dark alleys is probably gonna get mugged a couple of times, right. Or maybe something worse. Right. But the person that always avoid the dark alleys is never going to get mugged.

[00:43:18] And that's a modern day example. It's the same thing for caves or going to watering holes where, you know, alligators hang out in the tribes is that's risky, et cetera. Okay. Right. So everything you former label your brain does it quickly. It tries to get into a box and it tries to say, okay, I understand this thing.

[00:43:32] It's either safe or unsafe and now I can act accordingly. Yup right now. Think about how that, that primal reptilian just thought process goes and think about for the modern world and just how complex it is, and then think about why people get so crazy online. They're always trying to put something into a box they always want to know, is this person on my team or against me?

[00:43:53] It's the same. It's the same mechanism. Good, safe or bad unsafe, right? Yep. Good for me. And my identity, my ego or bad for my, my [00:44:00] identity, my ego. Right. And so, you know, that's one of the problems, the internet that we have to overcome, it's going to be a big, a big, big thing. So, yeah, it's huge.

[00:44:09] Absolutely people, you know, especially to that point of the internet, it's like you get people who lash out because it may not even be, you know, like you said, evolutionarily, we.

[00:44:20] Things we don't know are scary. It's like, I don't know

[00:44:24] Colin Stuckert: [00:44:24] that is that's unsafe though, but why, why are things we don't know? Scary because we've never come in contact with them and we don't get to be a threat to, it could be a threat to

[00:44:33] our

[00:44:33] Colin Stuckert: [00:44:33] lives. Exactly. That's why the unknown is scary because it is literally physically to the, to the reptilian brain is a threat to your life.

[00:44:43] But look at the mismatch today. Public speaking is not a threat to your life. Most people, our body has the same response, same response, right? And the way to overcome it is through under first understanding becoming self-aware practice training, et cetera, you know, like jumping out of a plane, I assume for everyone, even a Navy seal your, your, how your heart is probably pounding.

[00:45:04] Well, we do it a hundred times as a paratrooper. You probably like it. It's probably fun. Right? It's the same thing. Right? And so again, our goal is a modern humans to be happy, fulfilled, you know, be the best health we can make as much money as we want to do whatever we want. Right. That's that's my goal is help people do that.

[00:45:22] And the mind we've, we've established as the route I didn't realize it was going to go this long. So we're actually going to probably cut the lesson short. I'll go through a few more slides than open up the Q and a, and then maybe. If, if Brenda or anybody wants to chat, we can do that. Or at least drop some questions, do a Q and a.

[00:45:37] And because we're already at two 46 man time flies let's just do two examples here. So we covered a few, very big principles here, which is great. Now let's look at some examples of real life. If we're trying to establish that everything's an opinion, right? Let's look at some examples of that. Okay.

[00:45:53] You're happy. Are you happy or unhappy with your finances? So actually Armando, tell me what, what's your opinion, your finances right now. [00:46:00] They're not great. They're not great. They're not great.

[00:46:03] They definitely were better before, but it was with a trade-off.

[00:46:08] Colin Stuckert: [00:46:08] What, what do you mean? What was the trade off?

[00:46:10] The trade-off was not being able to have free time.

[00:46:14] Colin Stuckert: [00:46:14] Oh, I see. So, because you worked hard, you had no free time, right? So, I mean, in a way you, your finances might be better if time matters to you more. And like we said, time is important thing, right? Absolutely. But, but either way though, you said they're not great, is that because you think they should be better or they should be some level that it's not at.

[00:46:30] Well now it's because the level that I want them to be in my, in my head and in my mind, from my perspective, I don't

[00:46:39] Colin Stuckert: [00:46:39] like where they are. Well, look, what line two says, can you read that for me? Yeah. That's,

[00:46:43] you're better off than before or worse off than you think you should be.

[00:46:47] Colin Stuckert: [00:46:47] Well and read the whole thing.

[00:46:48] It's actually line three. Okay. Thus,

[00:46:50] you are happy or unhappy based on the comparison to an ideal in your head.

[00:46:55] Colin Stuckert: [00:46:55] Meaning, if you were on the street a month ago with no money, you'd bet you'd be balling. Yeah. I mean, it's all perspective. It is it really, again, these ideas, these concepts, his way of thinking can serve you in everything.

[00:47:10] Let's look at two more examples. Okay. Here's a good one. Okay. Are you happy or unhappy with your partner? All right. You don't need to answer cause you're in the same room. I'm not going to ask you this, but I want you to think about this, right. But I want you to think about this because even if you are unhappy relationship, there's things that you probably.

[00:47:27] There's like checkboxes that you're not happy with right now, because maybe you perceive that it was different before, or maybe that didn't really uncover until you moved in. And that was the thing you had to reconcile, whatever, either way, it's always a comparison, an ideal, and some kind of internal dialogue in your mind to wish it.

[00:47:45] If you want it to be a hundred percent grateful for your partner, you could be, they could be perfect for you, even if they were. They are in perfect creatures. Yep. So again, everything's an opinion. What we obsess about, we become, [00:48:00] if we're going to obsess about negativity and things that aren't perfectly, whatever, while we're going to get more of that in our life.

[00:48:04] And we're always going to find a reason why that's true. All right. Let's just do one more. So let's see. Work. Okay. Unhappy with your work. So this is actually an exercise I recommend everybody do because I've noticed years having employees that a lot of people, you know, until they lose their job or they get a different job, they don't realize how great their job was or their profession was right.

[00:48:23] Like you see that all the time, like go from a nightmare boss to somebody that's like kind of petty, but, but okay. And you'll be like, he's amazing. But then go to that same person, right. You know, later on to somebody that's even worse, if you complain about him for two years or whatever, like I've seen this a lot.

[00:48:39] So I recommend people let's sell the benefits of the work. Think back to crappy jobs. Like I used to work at a restaurant, I worked at a movie theater, like I've done a lot of, I did construction in the 40 heat for a summer. Yeah. I remember all of that. And a lot of times what people need. It's just a perspective shift and a lot of taking control of your mind, what we do in the better human school and the better human program is to take control of your perspective, choose how you want to respond to life.

[00:49:03] And really also at the same time, move to abundance and gratitude. Right. Like, like I said, like, if you're on the street and singled homeless a week ago, you will be bawling in your life right now. But because you become adapted to your life, you become hedonic adapted in six months. You're going to have all these reasons why your life should be this way should be that way.

[00:49:20] It's not great, whatever. Right. And so that's that, that way of thinking and that awareness is just massive. So, yeah. And like Sherry said, it depends on what gives you joy. What gives you joy? And identifying that spending time on that. And also though the flip side of that is not spending time on things that actively remove joy, which, which humans with our negativity bias, we fall, we fall into, right?

[00:49:46] Because negativity bias kept us alive, kept our ancestors lie because why? Because it kept us away from things that might be unsafe. So today though, like negativity, you know, you can find it everywhere, but you can also find positivity everywhere. You can find [00:50:00] something to be grateful for always.

[00:50:02] And your, to what you said before where exactly don't add negativity so that you can keep your baseline.

[00:50:09] Maybe, maybe it's. Yeah.

[00:50:10] Colin Stuckert: [00:50:10] You're, you're pushing yourself out of a baseline, which for most people are like, okay. Most people are not just Debbie downers miserable all day long. Right? We go through bouts of things. Some people, they can be depressed at times and they can return to like a baseline. And sometimes they can be really great, but the common theme amongst it all is the human brain, right.

[00:50:28] And every, and everybody has different struggles. Everyone has different obstacles, but I can tell you this right now, we all have our own struggles and obstacles. There's still, there's still an obstacle to struggle. There's billionaires that are miserable and overweight and dying. Like, and everyone thinks that cause they have a billion dollars.

[00:50:44] Like their life is great, but I wouldn't trade my life for theirs. And I'm like, no, not happening. If they would say, Oh, well you could trade places with Warren buffet. Would you trade places with Warren Buffett? Armando? No way. Why? Absolutely not. I first and

[00:51:00] foremost, I have this self-awareness to know. I wouldn't want his life.

[00:51:04] I wouldn't

[00:51:05] Colin Stuckert: [00:51:05] want it, but wait a second. Warren buffet lives as his passion. Absolutely. Okay. And he's made a lot of money doing it. Absolutely. So why wouldn't trade places with him? Because it's his life and his path. Okay. That's not the answer I'm looking for. Or he's, I think he's 85. That's why you want to trade places with him.

[00:51:25] Because if I could, if I could be Warren buffet, if I could be Warren buffet at my age now with billions and living my passion, I would do it in a second, but I would not do it at his age. Right. Because time is the most valuable thing, the most precious thing. And there is a lot to be said, For building your success in life.

[00:51:42]In fact, most appears talks about in her book. A lot of our well-off clients have, have, have children that they hand them, the family business, and then they blow it up because the kids end up presenting the parents. Correct. Why do you think that is? Why would parent, why would kids basically be given a golden ticket and they still have to do some work?

[00:51:59] They got to like, [00:52:00] kind of like run the business, right? It's not like they're just handed a check. Would they, would the children be resentful of that? Why do you think that is. Well, the executive,

[00:52:07] the point I was making about Warren buffet, it's like, you want to have choice. I don't want to fall into Warren Buffett's life because I don't want to be a financial, you know, a trader I don't want to, I don't want to trade stocks.

[00:52:20] I don't want to, you know, the finances as a career, doesn't excite me and you know, you have a lot

[00:52:26] Colin Stuckert: [00:52:26] of right. It excites him, but it doesn't excite you. But the fact is the theme is that you, you each want to do something that excites you. Exactly. But why would the children be resentful that they were handed their parents' business and basically probably set for life?

[00:52:40] Why would they feel resentful? And a lot of times run the business into the ground because they didn't get to choose. What do you mean by choice? Because it's not a thing. Exactly. And they didn't struggle to acquire it. That's, that's the real thing, right? Because if we look at the duality of life yet in yang, black and white, the polar opposites North, South.

[00:53:00] Okay. Each thing is defined by the other. And I've thought about this for years because I'm self-made and I've always thought, like I won the lottery. Like I wouldn't want to win the lottery. In fact, they've done research with lottery winners. Usually lottery winners are broke a few years after they win the lottery.

[00:53:14] Right. But that's what I've taught for another day. The reason the children resent the parents is because they didn't earn it themselves, which to appreciate abundance. It has to be earned. If it's not earned, it's just a thing. It's like a it's, it's just like a, one of 10 fancy cars you have, like, you don't even care anymore.

[00:53:32] Right. But when you earn it, it's completely different. Right. It's almost like if you could say, okay, I'm going to, Oh, that's a bad analogy. I was say something about kids, like, like adopting an 18 year old adopting an adult child. Probably wouldn't be as fulfilling as like raising on your own, you know, not like there's anything wrong with adopting a adult child.

[00:53:51] Right. If that's a thing,

[00:53:53] you know, where it will be, you're right. Like adopting a young child and being able to, you know, show that it's, they're two [00:54:00] different things.

[00:54:00] Colin Stuckert: [00:54:00] Yeah, it's, it's through the effort, it's through the struggle, we get value, purpose, satisfaction, and, and entrepreneurship business. It's all the same stuff.

[00:54:12] Right. And,

[00:54:13] and I, I want to throw in a small example and we're talking like global superstar. I was listening to a podcast and Jamie Fox is on the podcast, huge superstar, Oscar winner, Grammy winner. I mean, there's other things guys have done, right. He remembered. He told a story about the first time he met Chris Brown.

[00:54:34] Chris Brown was 16 in

[00:54:37] Colin Stuckert: [00:54:37] a, no, it was Chris Brown or story where you talked about meeting Kanye and Connie's just like hanging out in the corner. And he was like a, nobody at a party. Yeah, yeah,

[00:54:45] yeah, yeah. That was another good one. Yeah. That was another good one.

[00:54:48] Colin Stuckert: [00:54:48] And that's taught that that's Tim Ferriss episode.

[00:54:50] That was a very good podcast episode. Yeah, that's a

[00:54:52] great one too, because that's another story. Worry about someone who is self-made, who believed in themselves, who made the choices every day, who stayed focused. And, and yeah, absolutely. His kindness story. Aside from all the social aspects, the com has come up.

[00:55:09] Crazy. But Jamie Fox meeting Chris Brown, he said, he remembers me Chris Brown when he was 16. Now, if everyone remembers, you know, I'm very young. So Chris Brown, when, you know, he was 16, that is like the beginning of startup that it, he is he's superstar. And he, he remembers meeting Chris Brown when Jamie Fox was around 30 or so.

[00:55:30] And he remembers seeing him in and almost feeling bad for him in a way, because. How he saw him living life. He, he was like this. He is, he is a child and he's experiencing everything now. And you know, his, his parents. You know, Chris Brown's parents molded him to be what he is. You know, people, people have these, you know you know, we in high school and, and what have you, you have kids that you remember those kids in [00:56:00] sports that their parents took them to every single camp and every

[00:56:03] Colin Stuckert: [00:56:03] single thing, it was more of they're more of a, almost a figurehead than like, act like, like a self-made politician, you know, like maybe wean doesn't feel like, you know, versus a prime minister that had to start from the ground up or whatever, a hundred percent.

[00:56:15] Right. So Jamie Fox is not self-made. 100%

[00:56:18] when he was like, I remember having nothing in my early twenties and then coming up and he's like, I would never trade how I got to where I am for the world. Cause I appreciate it. And I know I'll keep it. And I pray every day. I'm so grateful, you know? And it's, it's, you know, it's something that I've, I've taken in my own life.

[00:56:38] It's something that you've taken in your life that I want everything that comes to me to be earned so that I'll I'll I'll appreciate

[00:56:44] Colin Stuckert: [00:56:44] the abundance more. Yup. Yup. 100%. So we are literally almost at three minutes.

[00:56:50]Oh, I think you, I think you might've muted yourself.

[00:56:53]I'm having trouble hearing you. Can you hear me? Okay, hold on. Okay. We're

[00:56:58] Colin Stuckert: [00:56:58] back. I gotta get a better cable here. Okay. So we only got a few minutes left. I mean, I literally have another show at three, but this will be every week when I do this and we'll be similar format. We'll get it tighter. Cause like we went over a little bit.

[00:57:10] And Armando likes to talk. So him and I are gonna coach. And we're gonna, we're gonna get it down to a good format where we can do a one big idea for about 10, 15 minutes. So we can do like a quick intro and everyone can share, we can do a Q and a at the end. Is it, does anybody want to just go on mute real quick and just share, ask a question, share something.

[00:57:26] If anybody wants to do that, just drop it in chat and I'll, I'll give you the mic and you can say something. I'll just give it a minute just to make sure. Or you can also ask question and chat, or if there's anything you want to cover real quick. But if not either way, I appreciate everyone being here and I'm looking forward to when this gets even bigger and bigger, bigger.

[00:57:44] And also if anybody ever wants to kind of come on as a co-host or like a F a third host. Thank you. Thank you, Brenda. Appreciate that. Yeah, absolutely. Thanks. We'll be, we'll be covering something every week on the mind. How to think, how to live. You know, we'll be doing other things like habits, productivity.

[00:57:57] We talked about focus a little bit [00:58:00] and it's just gonna be fun to keep going, get into it. So if you want to learn more though, cause it shows obviously sponsored by the better human school, which just launched, it's over at better human Dusko. We can learn more. There's a video there of me. There's Q and a.

[00:58:11] If you ever have any questions for me individually, you can send me an email. I'll drop my email here, Sandy from France. It's amazing. Oh, nice. So cool. So I'm gonna drop my email here. And if anybody ever wants to hop in there we have an eight week program. That's more of a group coaching like this with more interactive and we also have a self-serve self-paced option and it's going to basically help you think better build a first principles mindset so that you can just do everything you want in life.

[00:58:35] Right? The hard part for me about the better human is clarifying, what it can do. Cause like, if I say I can help you become a better thinker, you might be like, Oh cool. But like, What is that going to translate to? But like, it can translate to everything, you know, less afraid of taking risks, putting yourself out there.

[00:58:52] Right. Developing a forever learning mindset, being a scientist, testing things. I mean, it's just unbelievable what you can do when you really take ownership of the mind. So the books we recommended today were. Well something, I just read Melissa peers. I am enough. I think it is amazing. I really recommend everyone should read that.

[00:59:09] We might even just do the next show on that book specifically. If Mondo, if, if, if anybody wants to follow you, where can they do that?

[00:59:15] You can find me at Armando Rivera comedy on Instagram. I'm also on LinkedIn. If you want to connect at our monitor Rivera, it's this pretty much it right now.

[00:59:24]Colin Stuckert: [00:59:24] So thank you everyone for being here. And I dropped Armando's name in there and yeah, we're going to have the, I'll probably put the, I gotta figure how to do the video just yet. I haven't done the zoom video YouTube thing, but it's at least going to be a podcast on the better human podcast feed. And every week we're going to go.

[00:59:41] And if you ever want to submit something for us to talk about. And you can't make it. There's a link to wherever I posted this email and, and we got people coming in right at the last minute, but that's awesome. I know we are in different time zones, so I'm ready to learn more. Maybe I can K U M B I R E.

[00:59:58] That's a very cool name. [01:00:00] I'm not going to try to pronounce it cause I'm not good at that. So I appreciate everyone here. The recording will be on the podcast. So if you type in better human on any podcast app, you're gonna find it. And if you're on my email list or you're not, you can go to Columbine coach to get that, and we'll send out the updates and everything.

[01:00:14] And. I really appreciate them coming on and really feel free. Please reach out to me anytime, anything questions, common sharing stories, whatever, because for me, this is all fodder to talk about in, to do what I've committed my life to now doing is focused on helping people think better and live better by taking control of their minds.

[01:00:32] You can learn more about that over@betterhuman.school and really to close every day. One small thing. That's a little bit better, or a little bit on purpose you know, a year. You've done 355, whatever things like who knows who you'll become or what you'll do. Right. It's incredible. So everyone really appreciate it.

[01:00:50] I would stay on, but I have another show booked and I don't want to keep her waiting. I appreciate everyone. Thanks, Brenda. Brent, come . I hope I said that, right, really? Sorry if I didn't I Sandy let's see who else we got? We've got Sherry and Spence. Thank you everybody. Thank you guys.