Today's live show covers timeless pieces of wisdom from the history of our species that can help us develop equanimity, peace of mind, happiness and foster success in relationships, work, and life in general.
[00:00:00] [00:00:00] Okay, Colin here. And we're going to get right into it. Short show because everything's in disarray and let's do the sharing of the screen. I got something from a book I was reading recently that I want to talk about. And so, armando you can see this. Okay. So this is a practicing stoic. This is a William Irving, I think is his name.
[00:00:22] And he wrote the guide to a good life. It's not the one of the top stoke books, but I've been. into stoicism for a long time now. And it's funny because all the crazy stuff lately with my house flooding and just being homeless and like bouncing around from Airbnb to Airbnb and like, you know, sleep is hectic.
[00:00:36] My, my son's kind of like as a toddler, he doesn't know what's going on. So he's been having some fits, you know, trying to get through it, poor guy and But like, I haven't really felt, in fact, I haven't once felt bad for myself. That's very important. I've never once be like, why'd this happen to me? Like the thoughts didn't even enter my consciousness right now.
[00:00:55] This is years of entrepreneurship, which tends to forge you into somebody that has to eat shit all the time. Right. So like, I'm, I'm not, it's never a judgment when I compare myself to someone else or, or, or they might compare themselves to me based on something I said, so like 15 years I've been. Working to get to this point.
[00:01:13] It's not like I just woke up and I'm like good at responding to life. And I still like, will get mad at somebody cuts me off in traffic. Like I'm not perfect at this stuff at all. Right. So one of the most important things that I noticed though, was that I, one didn't feel like I was a victim in any way.
[00:01:29] Like didn't even enter my consciousness. But then two, I was kind of excited about all of it. I'm like, It's change there's turmoil, but I've always found that when things change, I have no, I can't change it. So for example, a house floods, you can't live there. You have to, there's no discussion about what we should do.
[00:01:48] We just have to find a place to live. Right? You can get to that clarity. And I focus on that. It actually brings me a certain level of solace in my mind where I just know that this is the problem. I know what the solution is and I just work on the [00:02:00] solution and, and it brings me a kind of equanimity of mind where I can just focus on that and I can remove all the other emotions, you know, if that makes sense.
[00:02:08] Right? A lot of times when we're just like unsure what to do that anxiety of not really knowing and not even knowing a path forward, that's, that's hard. I think for everybody to deal with, like, you know, some people do better with uncertainty than others, but I've just got this point where, as I thought about this, the past couple of weeks, I was finding a little, almost joy in it, like joy in the struggle, joy in the fact that things are crazy.
[00:02:31]And at times it's stressful. Yes. And a lot of driving around and like, my car is full of crap and I'm moving stuff. Like it's just a lot of stuff that I would prefer not to be doing, but I've, I've kind of accepted it and I'm not obsessing about my routine. I'm not obsessing about like, if I'm not working as much, in fact, I'm kind of taking as a break to just like, be a little bit more open with my schedule, give some more time to think, let my subconscious do its thing.
[00:02:53] Right. No. So again, it's an obstacle, I'm trying to turn into an opportunity and I'm at least at the very least, which is, I think what we're gonna talk about today with these few slides is I'm at least taking this inconvenience and the stress and these things that are happening and I'm using it as a form of mental training.
[00:03:14] Yeah. Right. Resilience training. Yep. Okay. So let's in fact, why don't you read for me this first slide? Can you see that? Clear enough? Yeah. We appear to go through life reacting directly to events and all else in the world, that appearance is an illusion. We re we react to our judgments and opinions to our thoughts about things, not to things themselves.
[00:03:36] We usually aren't aware of this events come to us through lenses of judgment that are so familiar. We forget. We have them on Stoics seek to become conscious of those judgments, to find the irrationality in them and to choose them more carefully. What do you think about that? I think it's great. I think I think that's, that's something I've been trying to work on is my reactionary.
[00:03:59]You [00:04:00] know, Like you said when I'm, when I'm in traffic or when it's just, so it's in line with what I'm doing right now. I think it's something people need to be mindful of constantly. And a lot of people aren't which park, what do they need to be mindful of the reactionary, their, their reactions to things and choosing to have, cause you have a choice ultimately in that.
[00:04:20] Yes. That's, that's the very important, that's the paramount actually like a lot of people. Somebody cuts you off in traffic, for example, you, you, you, you know, you're response, right? Like, which is some, I mean, it's based in danger. It's based in fear. It's based in like inconvenience, like a lot of things, right?
[00:04:37] It's not just purely like a irrational, I'm going to be angry, but you have a gut response, you know, a primal response that's instantaneous and most people believe. That that's okay. Like, like they almost say, well, I'm allowed to act this way because this person did did that. Right. But then if you actually analyze that and we talked about this a little bit last week, but this is such a, I mean, such a central theme that we just got to hammer this home on, on, on, on, because this is life-changing shit.
[00:05:06] Yeah. You always have a choice of how you respond. It doesn't matter what happens in her life. Right? Like we talked about last week, it's always up to you. And incumbent upon you, it's your responsibility to how you're gonna respond to it, right? Even if somebody does something tragic and terrible to you and it's against the law and it's like so wrong, whose responsibility is it to deal with it?
[00:05:29] It's still yours, no matter what, it always comes down to you. So what he's saying here is. Events come to us through lenses of judgment that are so familiar. We forget we have a on, and what he's talking about is that conditioning, where we get into routines and, and I mean, think about it if you're driving for a whole month, right.
[00:05:47] And you only kind of have like two days of bad traffic or like two days where somebody like flips you the bird and cut you off. Well, you have 28 days where it seems relatively normal. So you're, so you're conditioned to expect that. [00:06:00] So that when those once in every so often circumstances happen, it's just really hard to control yourself because like, you don't have the training or not used to it.
[00:06:07] It kind of catches you off guard. Yeah. Right. And what he's saying is we have these lenses of judgment, which is a way we perceive things happening to us. We have to see that there's even a lens there. You know, you have like those glasses where you can have like the thing, the color things flip up and down.
[00:06:22] Yeah. That's always kind of like what I try to envision. Yeah. And the, the metaphor is like th that w that yellow or Rose colored lens is something that is old is like down. But a lot of people don't realize I can just flip it up. They forget it's right there. Just flip it up. And then you see it differently.
[00:06:39] You don't see it through Rose colored or a yellow colored or whatever, like good or bad. You don't see it in any way. You just see it clearly crystal clear, clear clearly for what it is. Right. So stoke seek to become conscious of those judgments. Meaning we want to become aware that we have a lens on.
[00:06:55] When we respond and it brings us anxious or stress, we should actually be upset about the response we shouldn't be. Actually. That's really good. That's what it is. We should be upset about our response to the thing, not the thing itself. If our response was not conducive to having mental calm. Right?
[00:07:13] Because think about it. If we have a choice to respond, we're choosing to be angry or upset. We're choosing to suffer. We're choosing to live the precious time we have in a worst way. And we can just choose not to do that. And, and there is a big theme in people. You know, people are becoming more mindful, their mental, mental, their mental health untold space.
[00:07:35] What have you, the, the piece. And I think a lot of people are having trouble. You know, a lot of people are trying to meditate now and a lot of people have been in trouble because they, they, they see the thoughts in there. They observe the thoughts in their head. They get upset. They have emotional reactions to the thoughts in their head, the thoughts in their own head.
[00:07:53] Like, God, why did I think of that? Why did I, and it's, it's a reaction or a response of reactionary response to yourself. [00:08:00] And it's so important to make sure you know, the same, same way when being stoic and being stoic in life to see, just see it, just observe it. It is what it is like when you're having, when you're meditating alone, or when you're having that quiet time alone, you don't react to what's happening in your head.
[00:08:20] You observe it because you are just that you're the observer. And if you go around life being that way, you're just going to be at peace. You're going to, you're going to be, you know, and it's not gonna be perfect, but you're, you're just gonna, it's just gonna be better. Yeah, I wouldn't, I w I don't know if I would agree with the fact that people are trying to do more.
[00:08:39] I just think, I mean, I guess meditation is definitely trending mindfulness, the calm app, and like, those things are definitely becoming more, there's more awareness of them, but at the same time, it's we have more people distracted than ever more people, not self-aware than ever more people plugged into the matrix, just, you know, it takes to their screens than ever.
[00:08:58] And. So I feel like it's a response to that. I mean, we don't have data on this, so it's hard to tell. I think though that what we can safely say is that more people are trying to find solutions because we're becoming more or less aware and more connected in distracted. And, and as a result, just not, we don't know who we are, we don't know what we want and the pulls in the wrong directions.
[00:09:23] And like there's a thousand billion things in our environment that want our attention. So yeah, I mean, it's, it's a response to that, but, but again, that's why. These ideas, like the Stokes of the stuff figured out 2000 years ago. I mean, there's a reason that stoicism and mindfulness and Buddhism and all these different things have kind of had a resurgence with the internet because internet has actually given us more destruction than ever you know, like social media has created the comparison effect and people and people.
[00:09:48] You know, suicides on the rise, depressions, otherize, like kids are grown up staring at screens. Like there's a ton of things that are happening to which these things are coming as the solve, the potential solve to [00:10:00] them. Right. A potential solution. And for me, especially, especially with the growth of like data mining and, and I was reading something the other day and how like Apple's trying to figure out something when it comes to privacy, because of how good they're getting that, pushing us only the things we want to see.
[00:10:17] So it's like the distraction. Oh man, there'd be, they're becoming like, there's a science to distracting you. Now you are the product, you know? Right. Well, I, I, this, I was on a podcast recently. I was talking about this. So there's two, there's two ways. Think about this and then we'll, we'll get through this.
[00:10:34] And then we had com Rory, join us. I hope I'm saying that. Right. Thanks for that. Oh, couldn't be right.
[00:10:45] How's it going? That's awesome. Yeah, we couldn't be rising the a fitness and nutrition coach. Awesome. Awesome. I would love to have you here. That's great. And I, so you guys shot it last week. Absolutely. Yeah. She's awesome. Absolutely. Awesome. That's so cool. So what I was saying, and then, yeah, let me just go, go to that thought for inside track.
[00:11:06] So there's two industries right now. You have the big food industries, right? Processed food, which were basically the new smoking companies. Right. The smoking companies, you know, mad men, advertising, all that, that, that was a thing where they're like, how can we get people to smoke cigarettes? And let's just celebrities, the cowboy let's build a lifestyle, you know?
[00:11:23] And people eventually were like, Oh, they're evil. They're just trying to get you to buy these products that are, that kill you. Well, that's what the big food companies are doing today. Okay. They have food scientists that literally work in labs all day to engineer food, that short circuit, your brain chemistry to be, to become addicted.
[00:11:42] Yeah. And also it changes your palate and your perception of flavor so that when you like eat real food, you know, like, is it a hard thing to overcome? And they spend billions on marketing, right. And plant those things subconsciously and then labels and designs and all these other things. And they hire some smart people in the world [00:12:00] to get you to see the food and want it.
[00:12:01] And then they, and then actual scientists engineer. Right. So that's one industry, a parallel industry is big tech. Where are the smartest people coming out of college in the world going to work basically immediately for them big factor. Like if you're anything related to tech, you're going to go get 200 K a year three D I mean, think about it.
[00:12:22] 22 years old, graduated from college. You're getting 300 K a year. Two. Okay. Year, like, I mean, how old are you now? Mondo? 24. That'd be insane. I would, if I had that kind of money, when I was 21, Like, I wouldn't know what to do. Yeah. I actually think it would be very detrimental to my life and my health and my personal development.
[00:12:41] It would have made, I mean, who knows what could have happened. Right. And I think it's very true for a lot of people. I think, you know, even before 25, your frontal lobe is not fully developed giving young, basically kids like adult children that kind of, you know, ability to do whatever, like is it's insanity.
[00:12:57] Right. But they're hiring these kids. As far as people in the world, and then they're bringing them into their company to build products that keep you as much on their platform, addicted to a screen and consuming in a lot of cases, mindless content, as much as possible, billions and marketing billions in development and the smartest minds in the world.
[00:13:23] Like D D does, does any of us think that we can overcome that? Like that's why, like, if you're using any social media or any technology, like if you don't have a, an actual use strategy for it, like, for example, I got on Twitter recently, I have an entire strategy for like a black people. If they mentioned politics, I mute certain words, like, et cetera.
[00:13:39] Right. I used to think Twitter was evil and I think it, I think for politics, it is it's terrible. Right? And I think censorship of big tech is terrible, but Twitter is a tool is actually very amazing. And there's a reason to stuck around is because. Like it's, there's amazing people on there. There's amazing ideas.
[00:13:54] Like, I really love it for what I use it for Instagram in a similar way. Instagram's a little bit more visually appealing [00:14:00] and I've really lost a lot of my kind of, I just don't appreciate Instagram as much anymore. And I think, I think visually can be more addicting, right? Because like, when you're scrolling Twitter, you have mostly words.
[00:14:12] And you kinda have to be interested in the ideas and you know, like, it's, it's just harder for words to kind of captivate you, whereas like you can scroll and look at pictures all day long, you know? Right. We'll hit well. Yeah, we're, we're very visual creatures. So to come two inches, right there multi-billion dollars, billions of dollars spent on marketing and product design, et cetera, to basically make millions of humans more unhappy and unhealthy.
[00:14:40] I think about that, like, And there's not really outraged about it, but there's like a Netflix documentary here and there, whether it's about food, whether it's a social dilemma, like, and people just go on basically using the same things the same way over and over and over again. I mean, Snapchat just hit a hundred billion dollar valuation.
[00:14:56] And like, I used to think snap, cause I've never used Snapchat and I thought it was probably going to die, but it's still going strong, keeping young kids. Doing whatever the hell they do on it. And that's the funny part about Snapchat. They got, they were able to keep that because it's mainly the young, young, like even younger than me.
[00:15:11] It's the age. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's a teenager, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like it's the 13, I think I heard somewhere that was as young as 11 to about 20. Yeah. And they're to be beyond there, I think 13 supposed to be the minimum limit, but there's still kids are getting on there. They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:15:31] And who knows what's doing to the brains? I got some scary, scary stuff we haven't seen. We're not in that yet. We haven't seen what it does. We kind of are, the trends are happening, but like, yeah. What happens after 20 years, right? Like it's getting worse every year, but what, after 20, like how bad is it gonna be up for 20?
[00:15:48] Is it like accelerate a year? 10? Is it you're 19 going to be like massive, like, yeah. I don't know. It's, it's pretty, pretty serious stuff. So let's, let's go to this next slide. So this one was obviously about opinions judgements, [00:16:00] and then the very important points that we made that I think are worth iterating was.
[00:16:06] Everything is Joyce. You said that, right? Like how you respond is a choice. That's the, that's the most paramount thing that if we could all just remind ourselves of it would help us bring awareness to it and kind of take back more control over our response. And then the one thing that I said that I kind of stumbled on was we should be more upset about our bad response to something then than the thing itself.
[00:16:28] Right. So if you're going to, if you're going to get angry at something angry at yourself, and of course we don't need self abuse and internal conflict, isn't very productive, but there is a, you know, there is a little bit of value in sometimes being impatient with yourself or, or, or like, you know, wanting some discipline like yourself in line, right.
[00:16:48] Balance setting, obviously go too far and you can abuse yourself. And like, I'm trying to, I'm trying to, in my own life, get. Remove self conflict, which novel talks about that a lot. And he's like, I'm just getting this point where I don't want to ever be at conflict with myself. And I really liked that, you know anyways, so be more upset with your bad response to something than the thing itself.
[00:17:07] And then what's really cool. Flip side of that is when you respond to something productively, right? So say somebody cuts you off in traffic and you're like immediately, you know how those emotions kind of like come up, but when you press it down and you step out of it now, you're like, Fist pump. I just did that.
[00:17:25] Yeah. So think about that. A bad thing happened, right? You suppressed a bad emotion and then you create a good emotion. Yeah. And then as I'm talking about this shit, it's just like nobody in school, college, high school med school. No, no, not a single teacher in my life ever even broach the subject of how to think.
[00:17:48] Yeah, or how to live. Like it's, it's actually, it's insanity to me. Every time we get on this call, these calls. And we're just talking about with these basic, I mean, this is basic, the philosophy really like really, really had it. Like, [00:18:00] it was a way of living like in, you know, some people hear philosophy and they think Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, and they are all part of it.
[00:18:07] But a lot of the, you know, early philosophers that, especially that you studied in school, it's more about like definitions and it's almost more of a historical recount. The stoves were just like, bro, I want to live well. Right. Like I want to be, I want to be happy. And they, they were living in Roman times where like, you can walk down the street and there's like sewage everywhere.
[00:18:25] And maybe you're you go hungry for a few days. And like people starve to death, like they were dealing with some pretty gnarly stuff. Right? Yeah. So. For me, stoicism is like that foundational philosophy for just living a better life. And then you take actually the ancient Asian philosophy. It's like that.
[00:18:42] Wasn't for example, and that's way more in, in the mind. You know, constantly we'll weigh action through an action. So like, those are definitely more esoteric ideas, but they can still be translated to life. Same thing with Buddhism, right. Buddhism, which was basically an outcropping of one, one Prince hearth though, which was like, he just looked at society and he was, he was a Prince and he's like, this is kind of ridiculous.
[00:19:03] And he, and then he like tried to go down the path of like, what is suffering. And then he like kind of stumbled on meditation. And then he pursued Nirvana, which is the state of like basically being completely in the now. And then Buddhism was kind of a religion I created out of that, which is very strange to me.
[00:19:17] I don't, I'm really curious to see the origin of that because they almost like turned boot into a God, but Buddha was just a dude who was like, the suffering thing is kind of weird and like, you should meditate and that's how you fix it. Right. So it's interesting. But you take like these bits and pieces of these very practical philosophies about how to live today.
[00:19:36] And if you think about like Roman times, like I said, ancient Rome, ancient Greece. Like no AC, right. You're either freezing or it's cold. Like for modern humans, like in Texas here it's happened a week ago. We thought the world was ending because, because we had to like bundle up a few times, right? Like, so it's like they had dealt with some those things and this is what they, they [00:20:00] did to try to kind of respond well, but now think about it today.
[00:20:04] Mo modernity, modern society, modern living has created these other problems. Hmm, problems of the mind problems of health you know, too much abundance taken to excess will kill you. Right? If you eat too much food, you'll die. If you don't eat any food you die. If you drink, if I drink like gallons, gallons of water, I can literally kill myself.
[00:20:22] And if I don't drink any, I'm absolutely going to die. Right. If I lay in the sun, like all day, every day, never have a break. I'll probably it'll probably roast me alive. I'll I'll die. Right. But, but if I don't get any sun, I'll get rickets and I won't be able to walk, you know? So Aristotle Oxy called this a golden mean, which is that Goldilocks effect where it's like right in the middle.
[00:20:40] Right. You have extreme, extreme, right, right in the middle. Yeah. So there's a little bit of tangent. I think we should go to slide two before we hear all that you could go on that forever when it comes to finding balance and not going to extremes. That's something I touched on last week too, was just, you know you know, just living a life of, of being content and making sure that, you know, it wasn't a life of extremes, you know?
[00:21:06] Yeah. I, I I think the streams in some ways, depending on what it is at times, if it's, if it's, if it's on purpose, I think that that's probably another general theme. So we were talking about, it's crazy that this isn't taught in schools. Like it still blows my mind. Right. Which is why I'm with better human program in schools.
[00:21:26] That's what my focus is, is to really empower people at a young age and even in their young twenties and thirties, when you still don't. Yeah. No, how to think, how to live, like how to respond to your environment and control it instead of just becoming a a by-product of whatever's around you. So that's, that's huge.
[00:21:44]And then as, as, so you said extremes, w w what popped in my head with that? Oh, the other thing was, is self-awareness. So for example, a lot of people take things to extreme, but they're not aware of why they're doing it and maybe what the repercussions are. And so they just do more and [00:22:00] more and more and more and more and more, and you do more and more and more and more of anything.
[00:22:04] And you're going off the deep end, basically. And if you do none, none, none, none, none. None of something like if like astronauts. They have to, you know, the extra is like four hours a day. Yeah. Because of facile atrophy. Yeah. Because their muscles will just poof go away. So if that's not a perfect analogy for like the human animal and like how we need stress and we need things in our life to just stay alive.
[00:22:25] Right. The key is finding what's that perfect goal and meet in the middle, as Aristotle said, you know, so I'm gonna move my camera over here a little, because I realize I was like looking at the side of the screen. Okay, so let's let's go to slide two. Why don't you, why don't you read that for us? Maybe do a couple sentences at a time.
[00:22:39] Cause it's kind of long and then we'll talk about the all right. We should stake our wellbeing on what we can control and let go of attachment to what we can not honestly, do you want me to stop there? Yeah, if you have, if any sentence you read, you have comments on, go for it. Yeah. I'll read it again.
[00:22:55] We should stake our well-being on what we can control and let go of attachment to what we can not. So that was huge. From just the year we've had the, you know, what people are saying that it was funny to go into 2021 and people were like, Oh God, look at the year, already look at it now. But they were saying people were complaining already because they were like, look how it started.
[00:23:16] We thought 20, 21 was going to be the year. And That was something that, you know, in my home, we understood, you know, which we were already having a tough time up to 2020, just financially and with so many things going on outwardly that I understood. It got me to understand quickly that you can't.
[00:23:36] Control things outside of what you can control. You just like, there's what you can control. And there's what you can't. And that is, it's pretty simple when it comes to that, it's just, you know, being conscious of what you can and can't control. And it was funny to think that we ended 2020 and people were like, all right, 20, 20 ones of the year.
[00:23:58] It's like, what about 2020? Did you [00:24:00] think you could control. You know, what about ? It was also before 2020 where right. Where people just didn't realize how lucky they and grateful they should be. Right. Because the status quo, they got so comfortable with it and then it went away. But again, what most people do, they default to complaining about something they can control instead of seeing if maybe there's value there, maybe I can learn, maybe I can grow, et cetera.
[00:24:27] Right. Absolutely. 2021. It sounds like what you're saying. Cause I've seen different takes like for the most part, things are still, I mean, they're relatively open. Some places are worse than others. Yeah. They're very political, you know? But I guess I lost my train of thought with that. No, no, but it's, it's.
[00:24:49] You know, there's nothing about the year that makes it, you know, good or bad. It's about your, your control of what you, you know, what you do. What do you do? Are you paying attention to what you can control? You know, in 2020, did you go, okay, everything's shut down. I may have lost my job. I lost my job. I took it as a time to, okay.
[00:25:10] I'm going to sit with myself and be able to reevaluate. Now it's a reevaluation time at this point, right? Do I did. I feel like I was going the right. I paid attention to the things I could. Control, you know even going out to like buy groceries, you know, people controlling my emotions when it came to being around other people because people were so, you know, it was like this weird, you know, all the animals are going wild at the watering hole.
[00:25:36] You know, everyone was. On on edge and you can just feel it and cut the tension and yeah. Still having today. Totally completely. And we're in Los Angeles. So it's even worse. It's still that way, dude. Yeah. So but yeah, that that's, I mean, just that sentence. You're not, I don't want to go too far down it, but I mean, it's, it's absolutely it's a core tenant.
[00:25:58] If you want to be [00:26:00] happier, if you want to be more mindful and peace. But I'll keep reading. So. We generally can't control events or the opinions or behaviors of others or whatever else is outside ourselves. The stoic, thus considers money, fame, misfortunes, and the light to be externals and regard to them with detachment.
[00:26:21] It's stoic, still has preferences about those things. And so would prefer to avoid adversity and would rather have wealth. Did not have it right. Well, read the next sentence. Cause that's important. Okay. But attachment to those desires or fears is considered a guarantee of anxiety, anxiety, and a form of enslavement to whoever controls the objects of them.
[00:26:46] Yep. So what he's saying is the Stokes have a preference. Like if you, if you can be wealthy, you should try to be wealthy. Right. But when your identity, your happiness, your like life purposes about like how much money you have so that if one day you lose it all, like, I mean, think about it. People have committed suicide because the stock market crashed, like in fact, every stock market crash that's happened.
[00:27:08] There have been a handful of suicides of people that have killed themselves because of how much money they've lost. In some cases, people might've lost millions of dollars, but still have some money. Is that insane? Like if you actually think about it, like, okay, so you were up a lot, but now you're up only a little bit and you're gonna kill yourself.
[00:27:27] You guys, you killed themselves. That couple million did nothing to their fortune. What do you mean? Like, like not in, in it wasn't like that big loss? Some days some we're still wealthy is what you're saying, but it's this selves out of ridicule. Well, w I mean, maybe riddle kill, but I think it's also some weird psychological thing in the mind where like, we have a very hard time with like, extremes.
[00:27:51] Like it's, it's a psychological contrast. I think that like, certain people just cannot. Like we get so stuck into like, Oh my gosh, we have this. And it's so much of [00:28:00] a, of a contrast that it's becomes very, very hard to, to think outside that. Right. And obviously obsessive behaviors to making money and doing things like that led you to get that in the first place.
[00:28:10] And then not being aware of yourself, probably increased your fragility in that way. So that those people that did commit suicide again, their life became how much money they had or how much money they had earned so that they felt like. Well, I'd spent 20 years trying to, you know, make my few million dollars or my $10 million.
[00:28:26] Now I only have 1 million. It's not even worth it anymore. You know, even though like a million dollars, if you just invest it wisely, you can live for the rest of your life on that. Like, it's insane. So this is very important. If we could prefer to have wealth, we want it right. A hundred percent. Like I have no qualms whatsoever about making money.
[00:28:44] I want to make as much money as possible. In fact, if you gave me a billion dollars, I would build so much shit out and do so many things like. It would just be amazing. And most of what I was spending money on would not be me. Right. Like, or, or having stuff, you know? So I have no shame around making money at all.
[00:29:01] I literally don't have any shame, especially considering if you, if you know what a free market is and if you're making money through the, through free market capitalism, the only way you become wealthy is because you're giving people what they want. So, this is a very important point. That is a little bit in the common vernacular SJW, like they're, you know, like, like blame the rich that's a common theme.
[00:29:21] Right. A lot of people like to demonize Jeff Bezos. No, he's not a perfect creature. And he's done some things that I don't agree with and some whatever, but the only reason that he was able to Amazon from zero to a multi-billion, I mean, I guess they, they were truly in our company or maybe they still are, is because he gave customers what they want.
[00:29:39] Right. Customers want things fast. They want huge selection and they want amazing service. If he doesn't give people what they want, if he doesn't give them value so that they give him money, Amazon wouldn't exist and he wouldn't have any money. Right. So explain to me what's evil about that. People want the things he provides the value, you know, obviously it employs a [00:30:00] hundred thousand people too, right?
[00:30:01] So it gives those people job, right. They invest in things, they pay taxes, they do all these things and it's like, you want to blame that person? Cause he has a lot of money. Like it's so bizarre to me. And I, I think a lot of it stems from people not understanding things like communism and socialism. They don't understand history and it's not even worth going into any of that.
[00:30:18] But. The free market, the truly free market. And I'm not talking about like crony politics or capitalism, because that does exist. You know, there's lobbying and there's ways you can make money nefariously and there's ways you can make money by cheating people. And like, there are ways to do that were totally justified to blame people.
[00:30:34] I do that like, sure. Right. But in a general open market, if, if you have people that are going to buy products, I mean, like even food companies, like we talked about are smoking companies. I wouldn't necessarily say that they're necessarily evil. I think some things they, they, they have done to make more money.
[00:30:49] Can maybe be borderline evil, but unfortunately people buy the stupid products. Like they buy into it. They literally buy the products like Lilly it'll fly, flying demands, of course. Right. So, and it doesn't necessarily make them better health wise, but it does solve some issue. So if you have a nicotine addiction addiction, you buy cigarettes because it solves a problem for you.
[00:31:12] If you like really tasty food, it's not good for you. You go by it. Right? So it's like, we really should be more blaming the consumers that support those companies and the companies themselves and in a weird, strange way, you know? So I mean, I'm trying to think where we, so wealth externals, right? So the point here is when your identity and you wake up every day and you become addicted to like your results or you, you become addicted to like maintaining things exactly the way they are and you become resistant to change.
[00:31:42] That's where you run into problems, because that is basically you saying that at some point in the future, I'm going to suffer. Why do you think, why, why do you think that's the case? Why at some point in the future, if I want to keep things the way they are, I want to keep winning or keep making money.
[00:31:58] Why would I basically, why is [00:32:00] that basically a contract with myself and in the future, I'm going to suffer because you've attached yourself to the current state of the way things are, or it could be that thing, like your fortune or you've attached yourself. You didn't remove yourself where that big theme of detachment is mentioned, like three or four times.
[00:32:19] Why would I call it suffering? Because you've made yourself those things. And if that state changes, that's, that's what I'm asking. That's the point? What is the only constant in the universe change, change. Right. But I understand, understand that. So, so here's, here's, here's how we can break that down at the Stardust level as Carl Sagan would say.
[00:32:42] So the sun is basically dying. It'll burn up in like 7 billion years or 3 billion or whatever it is, it'll just blow up. Right. Like it's basically flaming out. Right? Yep. And then everything around it's gone. Okay. So you can even say that the earth is dying became each one of us every day we live where most likely we're, you know, declining or, or using up our time.
[00:33:05] Right. Children tend to grow, but then you hit kind of like, you're not growing anymore. And then you go on the decline, you know, whatever. Right. So. The only constant is change. Yet we have attached our mental equanimity, which is like mental calmness, right. To things outside of herself that we cannot prevent from changing.
[00:33:25] Right. So I heard recent a podcast. There was this, one of the richest men in China, like it was worth like $200 million or something, or maybe it actually was probably a billionaire, I guess he was like some big industry mobile or whatever. He was on a trip. Vacationing on some scenic, like high up in the cliffs, mountains, whatever.
[00:33:46] And he goes to the edge to take a selfie and he falls over and he's dead. Right. And it's like, it's no, I know. But it's like, it's [00:34:00] tragically, it's tragically hilarious in a way on the house. Right? Because I mean, one, like, dude, just straps some of yourself. Like I would have body guards tying rope to me if I was going for a selfie like that.
[00:34:09] Right. But he had $200 million and could have, you know, he could have had, I mean, unlimited protection physically. Right. He could have like, built a massive bubble over that. Just like, like a house around him. They just traveled with him everywhere, if you wanted to. Yeah. Right. And he goes to the edge of a cliff and he just falls off like it's in Sandy, but I guarantee you that when he was falling down, he's like, I didn't see that one coming.
[00:34:35] Right. Like all my money, all my thing, all this way. I did not see that one coming. That one caught me off guard. Well, let me tell you the problem is, is you don't get a redo in that chance. No. Right. And so in the seat, until I talk to us a lot, he, he talks about how you want to mitigate. Well, actually Novalis talks about a lot too, but the Nassim calls at risk of re ruin, right.
[00:34:55] Which is actually a gambler's term risk of ruin is where you take your whole bank roll. And let's say, you're playing in a high stakes game where you can lose all your money so that you're actually out of the game, if you lose all your money. Okay. Right. So that means that like, you know, there's like bankroll theory and whatever, if you're, if you're playing poker, you want to have like a hundred buy-ins right.
[00:35:14] Right, because then it's not likely you're going to lose all your money because if you lose all your money, you can't play anymore. Right. So if you have bad losing session, then you're just you're out. Right. So, so risk of you ruined for life, right? It's going to be things that threaten your physical safety.
[00:35:32] Absolutely. Right. So that's why the ball says like, be very, very, very weary and careful with anything that can basically kill you. Yeah, right. And there was, I think another one he said, but, and then be very, very, very risk-taking with things that can kill you. So like money things you create, like those would always get more off, like, you know, your time be very, very critical how you spend your time.
[00:35:53] Absolutely. Okay. Because you, you, you never get that back. But money, you can always get back, help in putting yourself out there, [00:36:00] whatever. He also says, like reputation, be careful with your reputation because that's very hard to rebuild. A lot of people can never rebuild it. Right? So like Warren buffet talks about that.
[00:36:07] He's like, he's got his quote where it's it takes like, you know, years and years and years to build a rotate eight year reputation, but then one day to ruin it, you know, and it's just gone forever. Right? So we have to kind of think about risk and things we do and how we, you know, what we get attached to what we think about whatever we have to keep that front and center of the mind.
[00:36:29] It's actually just finished this slide and then we'll do a summary wrap up because we've actually covered a lot of ideas. I want to kind of summarize them and then we'll, we'll tap out. Okay. In some. It is against stoke policy to worry about things that you can't control, what we can control and should care about are our own judgements and actions to put these first two points together.
[00:36:54] We get attached to things beyond our control, and this brings us misery. Yep. Cause things change. Right? We talked about things change. So you were guaranteed to be miserable at some point. Absolutely. And we are oblivious to features of our thinking that we can control and that if managed better would bring us peace.
[00:37:15] Stoicism tries to make us conscious of this pattern and reverse it. Yup. So, yeah, awareness what's in our control and which really requires its own show. I mean, because people, lot of people don't get what is actually in your control. Like they think that. They can control a lot of things that can't. So like, somebody talks bad about you.
[00:37:35] You're like, I'm going to go confront them. I'm going to change their mind. Like I'm going to make them like me. Like that's just nonsense, right? No way. You know, like if you invest in a business or something, and then you're like, it's not working, but you keep trying harder. You keep throwing more money at it.
[00:37:48] It's like, yeah. It's just, it's just you not accepting what you can't control. Maybe you should move on. Maybe you should like listen to what's actually happening. Okay. And then, so we talked about on the first slide, I'm gonna go back to it real quick. We are here to go through life reacting directly to events.
[00:37:59][00:38:00] So this is about awareness of how we respond. And the two things we talked about your insight was, do you remember? Yeah, essentially we need to change our, you need to look at it. And observe your reactions to things and not necessarily go get so caught up in the reaction. And the one thing that everyone has that they don't realize they have is yeah, I don't, I don't know, choice choice of how you, how you respond to the choice of how you respond is paramount.
[00:38:29] Okay. And then two is, you should be. When you don't respond well, be upset about how you didn't respond well. And then when you respond, well, you actually takes a bad thing or an inconvenience, and then you get joy out of it because now you're happy that you responded well. Absolutely. Right. So those two things, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge.
[00:38:50] And I think that's, I think that's a good amount of stuff here. We went to 45 minutes, a bit longer. We had a few people pop in and I'm still pretty tired. So I think a good job. Yeah, and this one will get posted next week for everyone. If everyone wants to follow you on the socials, where can they find you?
[00:39:08] Armando Rivera comedy on Instagram. And that's really it right now. Okay. And then this is sponsored by the better human school, better mind program mindset training. You can learn more at better human deaf school. We cover everything mindset we're gonna help you think better live, better, take better actions.
[00:39:23] And then really, I mean, our motto, what what benefits would it. Bring your life. If you were thinking better, enacting better, everything better choice health, mental health, physical health just, just general wealth. Yeah. If your goal is to be wealthy, that will help you. You, you, you touched on it in the beginning to where you were like, you know, you shouldn't wrap up yourself in, in those physical things.
[00:39:48] That should be, what is your goal and work towards work backwards from it. You know, and, and thinking better and you're ultimately feel better and you're able to then act, then [00:40:00] take action. Everything is, if you think better, everything is better. Absolutely. Like everything, it's everything. It's. Yeah. It's actually,
[00:40:10] that's where you have people who live. On two opposite extremes. You have people, you can have people in extreme poverty around the world and people in extreme abundance, and those people can ultimately have the same level of happiness or misery. Exactly. But have the same level based on their mental state and how they think.
[00:40:35] Yes. It's all, it's all. And it's all choice. Yeah. Right. And you get choice by becoming aware. Absolutely. Right. And then when you become aware that you have choice, then you become, then you focus your awareness on what you can control, which is always your, your response and your actions. And then you have true locus of control over your destiny, and you can do anything and be anything.
[00:40:56] And it's amazing. So get on the better human newsletter every Saturday firstname.lastname@example.org, that's C O L I N dot C O a C H. And. Up see you next week. Every Wednesday, we'll be doing this 2:00 PM central 3:00 PM. Eastern, . Armando Thanks for hanging out and we'll see you in the next one. Thanks for having me.